As a life coach and a self-professed neuroscience junky, I'm fortunate to have an understanding of how the brain works, as well as the tools to redirect my fearful, anxious thoughts. I knew that I was falling into the bandwagon effect of fear-based cognitive bias that's spreading at an alarmingly faster rate than the virus itself.

I'm not saying that we have no reason for concern. For some, it's challenging to avoid cognitive bias (the very normal and common tendency to overemphasize things that are recent and very vivid) because they are not slowing down to look at the real facts surrounding the Covid-19 pandemic. Anyone's imagination can run wild in situations like these.

Hey, it's no one's fault; this is how the brain functions. My point here is that we can shift our perspective and lower the stress that's related to catastrophic thinking. Remember, excessive stress weakens the immune system, so it's crucial that you take the time to address your anxious thoughts and feelings.

One way to do this is to slow down and recognize the whole truth, rather than focusing on only the negative aspects. Again, the brain quickly jumps on the train to spread negativity far and wide, and it takes a bit of work to direct that train to higher ground.

Examples of fear-based thinking and how to manage it:

If you hear, say, or think something like,

“They're saying that Coronavirus is going infect nearly all us; the world is changing, and it's scary.” (Feel your fear and anxiety mounting.)

Add more facts to your statement like,

“We know that a great majority of those infected are recovering. Many are experiencing few if any, symptoms.”

Here's another:

“I'm afraid that if I don't stock up on things, the stores will run out. What if I can't get my x,y,z?”

Add more facts:

The essential businesses, like grocery stores, will not shut down. Supplies will continue to come in. People who purchased 26 jumbo packs of mega roll toilet paper and a deep freezer's worth of frozen meats and vegetables won't go through it for a long time, so purchasing will slow down.

And then there's this:

“There aren't enough tests. Everyone needs to be tested; that's the only thing that will stop the spread.”

Add this thought:

Confirming that someone has the virus changes nothing; the treatment for unfavorable lung conditions remains the same. Anyone who is ill, whether or not it's Covid-19, needs to stay home or receive medical attention if (and that's a big if) their conditions worsen. All of us don't need to be tested. (This is not only my opinion; doctors and researchers say the same thing.)

If your thoughts are telling you this:

“My investments are dwindling. I fear that, soon, there won't be anything left! What am I going to do?”

Consider this:

The stock market historically rebounds. Your investments are long-term. Today your stocks are down, and soon they will rally.

When your brain jumps on the negative-thinking bandwagon, imagine a stop sign and divert your attention by doing something physical. Jump up and down, dance, turn on an exercise video, and follow along. Breaking the cycle of negativity is imperative to healing the mind. In the moment, it may feel difficult, but it's so incredibly easy once you change tracks. If you have to do it 50 times a day, it's worth it. Soon, your brain will catch on and slow down the negative soundtracks.

Have you ever used or heard of the Emotional Freedom Techniques, aka EFT and Tapping? I call this tool my Secret Weapon because it's just that powerful. While EFT is considered a self-help tool, working with a skilled practitioner is far more effective, especially with your more significant stressors. Contact me to talk about how I can help!

The post Are Your Thoughts Driving You Crazy Right Now? How to Minimize Fearful Thinking appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

I’m beginning to see more posts from people who are reaching out to their crowd with offers of help during this trying time. From running necessary errands for their senior and immunocompromised neighbors to offering free online support resources, these folks are funneling their internal energy into an outward-facing mission. But it's difficult to thrive through helping others when you are immobilized by fear.

Know this: Everyone is afraid right now because we are all human.  It’s absolutely normal and acceptable to be afraid. Even the strongest among us are deeply concerned about some aspects of this war on Coronavirus.

Love yourself first, no matter who you are or what you’re feeling in the moment. Fear is not a bad thing, it’s what we do with it and that can become destructive.

Also know that you’re not alone.

Remember, fear does not make you weak; it can motivate you to access your greatest strengths and qualities.

You are amazing, no matter what you’re feeling and thinking right now. There is no time better than now to harvest all of that amazingness and make a difference. Whether it’s within yourself, your household, or the communities beyond your front door, even the smallest gesture will make a big difference.

Time for my secret weapon.

You can ease your stress and summon up the strength to reach out to others, even in the smallest way. The Emotional Freedom Techniques is the most efficient, powerful tool I know to do just that. There are many video resources on Facebook and sites like The Tapping Solution to help you release some of your fear.

Tap as often as you can. Below are a few affirmations to say as you tap on the meridian points we use in EFT. Use these affirmations as a boost throughout your day. There is a free tapping chart available on my EFT page.

Tap on any of the points, even if you use only one or two of your favorite points. Remember that if you are out in public use points that are not on your face. Follow these affirmations as a script, choose only a few, and/or create your own—whatever works best for you.

Affirmations and acceptance of yourself.

I feel fearful right now, and I accept myself, fear and all.

Everyone feels the coronavirus fear, fear is human and acceptable.

I forgive myself for not being perfect because I am human.

I am not alone.

I choose [insert here] (hope, love, kindness, joy, peace, strength, etc.).

I also know that at this very moment, I am safe.

At this moment I am safe.

I choose to release some of my fear now. I fill myself with [peace and calm].

I accept [peace and calm] – I feel it in my heart.

I choose to allow [peace, hope, love, well-being] to fill my heart.

Love is abundant in this world.

I give and accept love freely and fully.

I am willing to release some of my fear, along with any other obstacles to peace.

In this moment, I am safe.

I am safe. I am loved. I am grounded.

I release all that does not serve me.

I breathe with ease and inner-calm.

My breath flows deeply and smoothly.

I choose a deep, cleansing breath now. (Breathe deeply)

In this moment, I am filled with peace.

I choose to focus on my blessings. I am grateful.

I am safe. I am loved. I am strong. I am grounded.

The post Affirmations and Emotional Freedom Techniques for Difficult Times appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

It was two weeks ago that I glanced out of my office window to see bursts of red and orange flames violently licking at the garage attached to my backdoor neighbor’s home. The ill-fated garage became engulfed within seconds; the fire spreading to another home in what seemed like an instant. Only a minute or two later, both homes fell to the complete mercy of the angry fire and its billowing smoke. I could feel the heat against my office window as bleak darkness filled the neighborhood.

At last, emergency vehicles arrived at the scene. The eight or nine minutes that had gone by seemed an eternity as a harsh and threatening reality slowed time and raced our thoughts. My daughter and I were immediately evacuated from the area. Our good fortune offered us about a minute to gather what we absolutely needed to remove from our home for safe-keeping. We chose our pets and purses. Ok, I will confess that I also took my MacBook Pro.

As we exited the home where I raised my children, my usually keen intuition failed me.  I did not know–couldn’t feel– if we would ever return to this place. I rolled my mental clock forward about a year and asked myself, “Is there anything else you absolutely must protect from this fire?” The answer, coming to me in calm form, was no. I’d already safely removed all that mattered.

The fire, being fed by natural gas, fought stubbornly against the giant water hoses. It was an hour before it was under control; a full hour before we were allowed back to the street where we lived. While gratitude for the safety of my home was strongly present, foremost on my mind was the impulse to go to my neighbors to offer what support I could. Standing in a small circle with the stricken families, the emotions were palpable. Intermingled amongst them were shock, fear, anger, confusion, and immense gratitude for the lives that were spared. Yes, even during these dark hours, these families could assimilate their grief enough to celebrate the joy and preciousness of life.

Flames, intense emotions, and fear. Memories and thoughts of these I am able to organize and set aside.  What fills my mind’s eye yet today is the image of first responders exiting from the scene after exhausting hours of battling vicious, life-threatening flames. Firefighters retreated through a gauntlet of impressive emergency vehicles. Locked behind distant eyes and sheltered expressions were thoughts and emotions entirely out of reach for anyone who’s never performed such acts of courage. These men had retreated within themselves to a place so deep that nothing would reach them until they were ready to emerge. Those faces and the intensity of what they secretly conveyed will never exit my memory.

While the next eight to twelve months will be immensely challenging for my neighbors, they still have what they most cherish—one another. When my own home was under threat, I too held on to what I most cherished, but I’ve gained something more: an enriched perspective on life. Those firefighters would assimilate the days’ experiences in their own way, but I’m fairly certain that their private processing would include thanks for the safety of their own loved ones. They know, more than anyone, that in the end, that’s all that matters. While we can all claim to understand that single, most important truth, I don’t believe we fully embrace it until faced with the prospect, or reality, of the most unbearable loss.

So, my friends, as you travel through the days and years ahead, fretting about things like your business and the state of your finances, return to the state of gratitude that is ours to embrace and enjoy. From this place of appreciation, only love can exist. Fear is like the angry black smoke that hid all else on that day—never give it the power to suffocate your dreams.

The post The Fire That Ignited My Heightened Perspective appeared first on Marla Tabaka.