As a business coach, I have an opportunity to help affected business owners with their depression and to consider that their mysteriously dark thoughts and behaviors come from the depression they usually don't even know they have. The reason you may not think of it as depression is that if you see yourself as high functioning and expect yourself to ‘buck up,' as entrepreneurs do, you may be aware that you don't feel great, but you'll chalk it up to stress and other factors that don't include depression. With depression in entrepreneurs at a rate of 30 percent, this is truly a silent epidemic.

Why is depression in entrepreneurs so prevalent?

I can identify many reasons for the epidemic proportions of depression in entrepreneurs, and I'm confident that researchers have identified many more. The thoughts and information in this article come from nearly twenty years of successfully coaching small business owners; I am not a therapist. Here are the depression-triggering facts I witness most often.

Some entrepreneurs are predisposed to mental illness.

Many studies argue that some entrepreneurs are predisposed to mental illness, including depressive tendencies. The same qualities that make you an outstanding entrepreneur: creativity, ability to pivot, empathy, independence, visionary, and crisis-management skills may be rooted in negative life experiences. If you have experienced any level of trauma in your past, it likely resulted in many negative beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Experiences of failure, shame, perfectionism, and emotional or physical abuse, lead to anxiety and self-doubt, which can lead to varying levels of depression.

However, even if you were blessed with an idyllic childhood and a life relatively free of trauma, it does not disqualify you from depressive tendencies. The risks and uncertainty that come with the emotional rollercoaster that is a founder's life can be enough to push us to the brink of a breakdown. There is tremendous pressure to succeed from both internal and external sources. Mostly, entrepreneurs are hardest on themselves.

What are the primary stressors that lead to depression in entrepreneurs?

Aside from the above, the climate of the business world is quite harsh. There's competition, lack of funding, employees and candidates who ghost business owners, managing others, client issues, and rapidly advancing technologies that take money and education to keep up. As a founder, you have a world of weight on your shoulders and little opportunity to go off-grid to escape the crazy.

As though the external challenges aren't enough, they are compounded by negative self-talk and beliefs that can make you feel incapable or undeserving. Skim through my other blogs and Inc.com articles for more on this mindset and what to do about it.

Why it's difficult to spot depression in yourself.

If you've lived with depression for any length of time, it's hard to identify if your moods, thoughts, and behaviors are “just who you are” or symptoms of depression. Also, you're busy; who has time to slow down to evaluate this problem? Lastly, what if you discover you are depressed? That's scary, right?

The good news is that therapy, a good life and business coach, a healthier lifestyle, alternative treatments, and possibly (but not always) medication can resolve most issues. Why live a life of anxiety, high stress, and sad thoughts if you don't have to? It used to be taboo to discuss mental health; luckily, those days are gone.

How to spot depression in yourself.

Pay attention to your thoughts and moods. Prolonged sadness, anger, and frustration may be signs that you are depressed.

You're tired. Of course, you are, but depression comes with a whole new level of fatigue. Pay attention to your energy patterns.

Poor concentration. You may believe that what I call entrepreneurial ADHD comes with the territory. That's not always true. Your habits, beliefs, and lack of clarity contribute to poor concentration.

You may have a lack of appetite and trouble sleeping. Watch for any change in mood, habits, or attitudes that don't feel good to you.

Do you drink more alcohol than you'd like to admit?

A drink or two takes the edge off, but note if your drinking (or other self-medicating) habits have increased. This could be a sign that your coping mechanisms are over-taxed.

Indecisiveness and overwhelming feelings that muddy up your clarity.

Sometimes these feelings get so big that we shut down and use productive procrastination to avoid thinking about strategy and gaining clarity. Sometimes, even the most basic decisions feel overwhelming.

You don't feel like spending time with others.

You are excluding yourself from everyday social situations and avoiding others. This could be happening because your stress and depressive tendencies are taking up all of your energy. It's challenging to make small talk when you're facing tough problems.

Resolving depression in entrepreneurs.

The first step for anyone is to recognize that you aren't happy and are not alone, even though you may feel lonely. Many of your peers have gone or are going through bouts of depression. Society expects entrepreneurs to be tough and resilient, but we are all human with feelings, needs, and limits.

Try to put things in perspective.

Every problem becomes amplified when the brain is operating in a depressed state. Our stress bucket becomes full, and any minor issue can create an overflow. We also have negative recordings that yell at us from inside our heads; I'm not good or smart enough, I don't deserve success, I'm going to fail, so many people are counting on me, I can't let them down. I have many articles on my site about “BullShifting™” negative thinking. Check this one out.

Think about all the problems you've resolved in the past.

When we're involved in an anxiety-inducing issue, it feels like the world's weight is crashing upon us. You've felt this way before; what happened then? Most often, our worst fears don't manifest themselves. Even if they do, there are few circumstances from which we don't recover. You've probably faced heavier challenges and made it to the other side.

If simple positive mindset shifts are not helping your depression, please find a professional to work with for a while. If your depression is deep and long-lasting, interview some therapists to find one who resonates with your belief system. A coach with training and experience working with entrepreneurs is a great choice to complement therapy or as a stand-alone approach if you believe treatment is unnecessary. A good, ethical coach will gently nudge you toward therapeutic assistance if your situation is beyond their scope of practice.

Remember your mission and vision; you have a purpose to achieve. Ask for help so you can be happy in life and business and get to your goals efficiently. It's just better that way.

The post The Silent Epidemic: Depression in Entrepreneurs appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

As an entrepreneur, you must make tough choices, sometimes under unexpected circumstances. While we all experience and process each situation on our own timeline and in our own way, there are a few things you can do for an added measure of self-care.

Before making a tough decision, create your support system.

When we are in distress, we often forget to help ourselves in nurturing ways—or inform others how to help us.

When I made the gut-wrenching decision to leave a career I loved, I knew I would need to lean on others. It was time to walk away from the television broadcasting industry that I’d been part of all my adult life, but what would I do with my life after television?

Before formalizing this tough decision, I made an appointment at the local career center to learn about my options. I took the Meyer’s Briggs and other assessments at the community college; I reached out to my network to ask for connections, and I let my friends and family know that I would need some fun distractions from my quest to find a new beginning. These measures offered me a softer landing when I made an emotional exit from the only career I’d ever known.

Consider what might be needed and what would feel good to you during a stressful period in your life and ask for support. Making decisions and plans like these ahead of time will offer you a softer landing.

Plan for the inevitable.

I find a significant amount of our stress comes from doubting our choices and taking the big step of making the final decision. A situation I often experience with the entrepreneurs I coach is the unwillingness to let go of an unproductive or difficult employee. As the business grows, longtime employees may not be capable of growing with it. As employers, we understand the struggle an employee may encounter when facing unemployment. Feelings get involved and doubt sets in. Yet, once the entrepreneur decides to release an employee who isn’t performing or is not a good culture fit, good things happen—usually for the employer and the employee.

Give some thought to the decisions you may have to make in the future. Apply this formula:

If x and y happen, I will move to z, my final decision. In this scenario, if this employee fails to meet the requirements discussed in our meeting and doesn’t change their toxic attitude, I will let them go. This kind of planning lessens the possibility of emotional reasoning getting in the way of your ability to make a sound, albeit tough, decision. This process is especially helpful in big life decisions like managing the well-being of someone who can no longer make decisions on their own.

Find the collateral beauty.

I loved being the owner of a thriving independent coffeehouse. All of it, but the stress of running a brick-and-mortar business, the financial concerns, and 15 young, not-so-reliable employees—all while being the single parent of two teenagers.

As I always say, being an entrepreneur can be lonely, so I hired a business coach to help me with direction and clarity. That experience turned into so much more than I’d anticipated. It ultimately led to my current career, which turned out to be my life purpose and passion. Still, I had to make the difficult decision to sell my amazing coffeehouse so I could go to school and build my coaching practice.

The movie, Collateral Beauty, offers an unusual viewpoint of loss. There are aspects of even our most difficult experiences that are beautiful if we open our minds to a broader perspective. Selling the coffeehouse, while painful as I let go of my community of friends and a place I’d come to know as a sanctuary. It felt nearly unbearable; still, letting go provided me the growth opportunity of a lifetime. My coach offered to mentor me and supply me with pro bono clients. I’d added another layer of wisdom that comes with failures and successes, and this knowledge would support me in helping other entrepreneurs. I met people who would remain in my life for many years beyond the coffeehouse. I have memories of all the musicians and artists I helped by providing them a place to showcase their talents. Although I was grieving for the home-away-from-home I’d lost, my life was rich with joyful memories and more.

Use the oxygen mask theory.

We’ve all sat through the redundant safety messages on commercial flights. “Ladies and gentlemen, “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.” Why? Because you can’t help anyone if you’re unconscious.

Sometimes life gets tough just before we must make a dreaded decision. The stress and concern build up, making you emotional as your next steps become clear as mud. When your body’s energy and oxygen become consumed by its survival mechanism, your brain does not function well. The energy consumption leads to a sense of overwhelm, confusion, and many emotions.

Somehow, we become martyrs during a crisis, refusing comfort and help from others and neglecting our own needs. These sacrifices do not aid anyone involved in the situation and certainly don’t benefit you. Slow down, create space, eat as well as you can, and do what is needed to ensure proper rest.

One thing I know for sure. When we create the smoothest path possible, we have greater clarity and energy to get to the other side of our decisions. Once there, we can pick up our lives and begin to release whatever problems and pain the situation has brought into our lives.

The post How to Make Tough Decisions Bearable–and With Clarity appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

But even in the most frustrating of times there is something within your control that can have a huge impact on your life: your attitude. The attitude and energy that you have in any given situation, and toward life in general, is what determines your actions. It also influences how others respond to you and how you feel about yourself.

Our attitude and actions are dictated by our perspective and interpretation of reality. If you have a negative, pessimistic disposition and believe that life is filled with nothing but problems, you will make decisions that draw more difficultly into your life.

An individual with a more positive, open-minded disposition is likely to draw desirable events into his or her life. These folks will try new things, take emotional risks, and learn from and enjoy the outcome. They are more likely to find solutions, shift gears as necessary, and see the upside of most situations. They also get more support from employees, peers, friends, and family.

Which disposition do you generally lean toward?  If your attitude is most often negative, (you may view it as “realistic”) think about how you typically feel, both emotionally and physically. Could your world be better? Could your health be better? How about your stress levels, could they be lower? Yes? Perhaps it's time for a change.

Reframing is one of my most powerful life and business coaching tools. It is a simple process that is drawn from Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).  This process, actually “rewires” your brain and “erases” the negative thought patterns you currently have in place. You can teach yourself to think and act differently, and the outcome will be well worth your time and effort.

Here are three reframing strategies that have always rescued me from negativity, and have taken many of my business coaching clients to a better outlook.

Reframe your thoughts.

When you find yourself thinking things like, I’ll never succeed at this, or I never catch a break, ask yourself: Is that really true and do I believe it with all my heart?The answer is usually “no.” Choose a prevalent, negative thought and make a list of reasons why it's not true. You will begin to see that your perspective is not based in reality. Now reframe your thought to the next best option. Instead of, that won't work, try maybe there is a way I can make that work. You'll find things working out much better.

Reframe your comments.

When a negative statement is on the tip of your tongue, change the shape of it. People naturally respond defensively to negativity, even if it's not directed toward them. Instead of telling someone how bad your day is, ask them how their day is going. Or choose one or two things about your day that feel good to you and talk about those. Soon you'll find yourself focusing on the positive aspects of a situation to shift your mind away from the negative. It works wonders.

Reframe your criticism.

Entertaining negative thoughts about yourself or someone else lowers your energy; both physically and emotionally. Instead of looking for things that people (including you) do wrong, look for the good qualities and characteristics in them. This is a fun experiment because people show up in life just as you expect them to. If you generally view someone as uncooperative, for instance, that is the side of them you will see. Look for a more favorable attribute and soon you'll see them in a different light.

The post 3 Simple Steps to Stop Negative Thinking appeared first on Marla Tabaka.