overwhelmed Archives - Marla Tabaka https://marlatabaka.com/tag/overwhelmed/ Business Coach Mon, 31 Jul 2023 20:36:47 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://marlatabaka.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/cropped-M-Favicon-32x32.png overwhelmed Archives - Marla Tabaka https://marlatabaka.com/tag/overwhelmed/ 32 32 When Life as an Entrepreneur Feels Like a Living Hell, Metaphorical Inspiration https://marlatabaka.com/2023/05/08/when-life-as-an-entrepreneur-feels-like-a-living-hell-metaphorical-inspiration/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=when-life-as-an-entrepreneur-feels-like-a-living-hell-metaphorical-inspiration https://marlatabaka.com/2023/05/08/when-life-as-an-entrepreneur-feels-like-a-living-hell-metaphorical-inspiration/#respond Mon, 08 May 2023 09:41:48 +0000 https://marlatabaka.com/?p=61616 I am currently living one of my lifelong dreams of traveling Italy for a month, enjoying every second of it as we progress through the third week. An interesting fact about the Italian people: Many believe America is the dreamland for entrepreneurs because success is more achievable and straightforward. I don't know what it's like […]

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I am currently living one of my lifelong dreams of traveling Italy for a month, enjoying every second of it as we progress through the third week. An interesting fact about the Italian people: Many believe America is the dreamland for entrepreneurs because success is more achievable and straightforward. I don't know what it's like to operate a business in Italy, but taxes are extraordinarily high at 59.1% of profit. According to this article, Italy ranks 58th for overall ease of doing business and 98th for starting a business out of 190 economies. So, a part of me understands the common Italian perception that the United States is an entrepreneurial haven. But as they say,

The details are in the devil.

This old idiom alludes that something may seem simple, but in fact the details are complicated and likely to cause problems. For business owners in Italy, the details are most definitely complex, but some may find disappointment should they choose to come to the US to live out the American Dream. One of the reasons I feel that's true is that Italians, like most, believe that success is hard and you must struggle your way through it alone.

Entrepreneurial Success is Hard.

As a coach, I've learned that the familiar refrain, “Success is hard,” is a shared belief system among entrepreneurs, and we certainly experience hard times. The path to success isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be a living hell either.

During our stay in Verona, Italy, we toured Dante's Inferno. We had an excellent guide who sharedA journey to success the lore of Dante's grueling travels through hell and purgatory to find his way to Heaven. The young guide told us that one of the greatest sins for those destined for hell is the refusal to ask for help. It's pride, he told us, and it's a lack of desire to achieve something meaningful. “Strong, positive desires point us toward heaven,” he said.

That said, Dante's great need and desire to find his one true love, Beatrice, kept him strong and determined enough to climb the treacherous path from hell and graduate through the levels of purgatory to the Garden of Eden, and Beatrice, in Heaven.

Being an Entrepreneur Should Not Feel Lonely.

As a coach of twenty years, I have learned that the entrepreneur who attempts to travel alone on their path to success experiences more hard times than those who are wise enough to look to coaches and mentors for help along the way. Business owners who finally come to me for help have often reached the point where owning a business truly feels like a living hell.

This article is not intended to be a lesson in religion but to translate these religious beliefs into a powerful metaphor for the human journey, most certainly the entrepreneurial journey.

Trusting Others is a Healthier Choice Than Doing Everything Yourself.

One of the greatest challenges entrepreneurs face in growth stage is to trust. Trust the guidance of an experienced mentor or coach, trust employees to take over parts of the operation, and trust themselves to find the success they seek. Dante, I thought, was like an entrepreneur practicing free will and learning about the power of choice. The tormented Italian poet could ask for help, assist others in the journey, and remain determined to reach his destination. The alternative choices would be to travel alone, unaided by fellow travelers, unwilling to lend a helping hand, and possibly give up the journey altogether or fail. Either way, each choice has its consequences, some desirable, some not so much.

We are here on earth to learn and grow; there's no denying that. Every missed opportunity and denial of support caused by stubbornness and refusal to change keep us in our metaphorical hell or purgatory. When entrepreneurs feel stuck and don't seek help, they deny the human right to choose freedom from these punitive environments and experiences. It's first important to acknowledge that you don't know everything you need to know to reach your intended destination. It's imperative to understand that asking for help does not make us weak or less than. With a strong desire to achieve, virtually everything is possible unless we attempt to do it alone.

Sometimes, Being Alone is a Selfish Choice.

As entrepreneurs struggle with daily challenges and financial woes, the act of going it alone could be misconstrued as a selfish one. Why? Because we then deny yet another human right to achieve our desires. And, because it's not only you who suffers. Think of those around you, people who care for you, and what they must be going through as they watch you suffer. Ask yourself, “How are the people I love affected by my current position?” Also, think of the people who want to help. Consider not only those close to you but coaches like me. There is no greater joy and privilege than working with a client who is open to receiving help, eager to succeed, and willing to change. Watching entrepreneurs journey to their idea of Heaven is one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. It's the same for your family and friends who want to witness you living your dream.

***Contact me to explore if I can help you to reach your entrepreneurial dream!***

You get to choose!

Is it time to exercise your freedom to choose? Because, yes, it is possible to choose success over failure. Through my experience of owning businesses, living life as I choose, and witnessing countless entrepreneurs decide to open their minds to change, I will tell you that you don't have to struggle and suffer. If your business model is truly viable, yet success alludes you, it only means that you are missing the answers that lie within you. It takes an outside perspective to help you find those answers and open the path to learning and growing.

Entrepreneurial successDante eventually landed in Heaven with his beloved Beatrice because he had a dream and allowed his fellow travelers to support him. He chose to aid others as he could and believed in the group's ability to reach Heaven, despite the temptations of crippling whispers from the devil. We all hear those whispers. Perhaps not from the devil, but the whispers of our inner critic that tell us to stop, give up, and deny our strengths, gifts, and talents. Don't listen to that voice, no matter how loud and ugly it gets. Instead, learn how to silence the damaging soundtracks, seek assistance in your growth journey, and believe in your ability to get there!

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The Silent Epidemic: Depression in Entrepreneurs https://marlatabaka.com/2022/07/01/the-silent-epidemic-depression-in-entrepreneurs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-silent-epidemic-depression-in-entrepreneurs https://marlatabaka.com/2022/07/01/the-silent-epidemic-depression-in-entrepreneurs/#respond Fri, 01 Jul 2022 15:50:37 +0000 https://marlatabaka.com/?p=61388 Entrepreneurs are 4x more likely to suffer from depression than their neighbors, friends, and family members who represent the general population. The United States ties for second place for the highest rate of depression with Estonia and Australia at 5.9%. Second only to the citizens of Ukraine who are involved in a tragic war. Sadly, […]

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Entrepreneurs are 4x more likely to suffer from depression than their neighbors, friends, and family members who represent the general population. The United States ties for second place for the highest rate of depression with Estonia and Australia at 5.9%. Second only to the citizens of Ukraine who are involved in a tragic war. Sadly, depression in entrepreneurs is so common it represents a good chunk of a depressed population at a whopping 30%!

As a business coach, I have an opportunity to help affected business owners with their depression and to consider that their mysteriously dark thoughts and behaviors come from the depression they usually don't even know they have. The reason you may not think of it as depression is that if you see yourself as high functioning and expect yourself to ‘buck up,' as entrepreneurs do, you may be aware that you don't feel great, but you'll chalk it up to stress and other factors that don't include depression. With depression in entrepreneurs at a rate of 30 percent, this is truly a silent epidemic.

Why is depression in entrepreneurs so prevalent?

I can identify many reasons for the epidemic proportions of depression in entrepreneurs, and I'm confident that researchers have identified many more. The thoughts and information in this article come from nearly twenty years of successfully coaching small business owners; I am not a therapist. Here are the depression-triggering facts I witness most often.

Some entrepreneurs are predisposed to mental illness.

Many studies argue that some entrepreneurs are predisposed to mental illness, including depressive tendencies. The same qualities that make you an outstanding entrepreneur: creativity, ability to pivot, empathy, independence, visionary, and crisis-management skills may be rooted in negative life experiences. If you have experienced any level of trauma in your past, it likely resulted in many negative beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Experiences of failure, shame, perfectionism, and emotional or physical abuse, lead to anxiety and self-doubt, which can lead to varying levels of depression.

However, even if you were blessed with an idyllic childhood and a life relatively free of trauma, it does not disqualify you from depressive tendencies. The risks and uncertainty that come with the emotional rollercoaster that is a founder's life can be enough to push us to the brink of a breakdown. There is tremendous pressure to succeed from both internal and external sources. Mostly, entrepreneurs are hardest on themselves.

What are the primary stressors that lead to depression in entrepreneurs?

Aside from the above, the climate of the business world is quite harsh. There's competition, lack of funding, employees and candidates who ghost business owners, managing others, client issues, and rapidly advancing technologies that take money and education to keep up. As a founder, you have a world of weight on your shoulders and little opportunity to go off-grid to escape the crazy.

As though the external challenges aren't enough, they are compounded by negative self-talk and beliefs that can make you feel incapable or undeserving. Skim through my other blogs and Inc.com articles for more on this mindset and what to do about it.

Why it's difficult to spot depression in yourself.

If you've lived with depression for any length of time, it's hard to identify if your moods, thoughts, and behaviors are “just who you are” or symptoms of depression. Also, you're busy; who has time to slow down to evaluate this problem? Lastly, what if you discover you are Business Coaching for entrepreneursdepressed? That's scary, right?

The good news is that therapy, a good life and business coach, a healthier lifestyle, alternative treatments, and possibly (but not always) medication can resolve most issues. Why live a life of anxiety, high stress, and sad thoughts if you don't have to? It used to be taboo to discuss mental health; luckily, those days are gone.

How to spot depression in yourself.

Pay attention to your thoughts and moods. Prolonged sadness, anger, and frustration may be signs that you are depressed.

You're tired. Of course, you are, but depression comes with a whole new level of fatigue. Pay attention to your energy patterns.

Poor concentration. You may believe that what I call entrepreneurial ADHD comes with the territory. That's not always true. Your habits, beliefs, and lack of clarity contribute to poor concentration.

You may have a lack of appetite and trouble sleeping. Watch for any change in mood, habits, or attitudes that don't feel good to you.

Do you drink more alcohol than you'd like to admit?

A drink or two takes the edge off, but note if your drinking (or other self-medicating) habits have increased. This could be a sign that your coping mechanisms are over-taxed.

Indecisiveness and overwhelming feelings that muddy up your clarity.

Sometimes these feelings get so big that we shut down and use productive procrastination to avoid thinking about strategy and gaining clarity. Sometimes, even the most basic decisions feel overwhelming.

You don't feel like spending time with others.

You are excluding yourself from everyday social situations and avoiding others. This could be happening because your stress and depressive tendencies are taking up all of your energy. It's challenging to make small talk when you're facing tough problems.

Resolving depression in entrepreneurs.

The first step for anyone is to recognize that you aren't happy and are not alone, even though you may feel lonely. Many of your peers have gone or are going through bouts of depression. Society expects entrepreneurs to be tough and resilient, but we are all human with feelings, needs, and limits.

Try to put things in perspective.

Every problem becomes amplified when the brain is operating in a depressed state. Our stress bucket becomes full, and any minor issue can create an overflow. We also have negative recordings that yell at us from inside our heads; I'm not good or smart enough, I don't deserve success, I'm going to fail, so many people are counting on me, I can't let them down. I have many articles on my site about “BullShifting™” negative thinking. Check this one out.

Think about all the problems you've resolved in the past.

When we're involved in an anxiety-inducing issue, it feels like the world's weight is crashing upon us. You've felt this way before; what happened then? Most often, our worst fears don't manifest themselves. Even if they do, there are few circumstances from which we don't recover. You've probably faced heavier challenges and made it to the other side.

If simple positive mindset shifts are not helping your depression, please find a professional to work with for a while. If your depression is deep and long-lasting, interview some therapists to find one who resonates with your belief system. A coach with training and experience working with entrepreneurs is a great choice to complement therapy or as a stand-alone approach if you believe treatment is unnecessary. A good, ethical coach will gently nudge you toward therapeutic assistance if your situation is beyond their scope of practice.

Remember your mission and vision; you have a purpose to achieve. Ask for help so you can be happy in life and business and get to your goals efficiently. It's just better that way.

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Procrastination Making You Miserable? This is Just What You Need https://marlatabaka.com/2020/08/28/procrastination-making-you-miserable-this-is-just-what-you-need/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=procrastination-making-you-miserable-this-is-just-what-you-need Fri, 28 Aug 2020 14:31:36 +0000 https://marlatabaka.com/?p=61096 When you fully understand the reason(s) behind your procrastination, you'll know exactly what to do to kick the habit. Entrepreneurs tend to get down on themselves for putting things off, so when a business owner develops a habit of procrastination, it will eventually damage the business–and the psyche. It's worthwhile to get to the root […]

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When you fully understand the reason(s) behind your procrastination, you'll know exactly what to do to kick the habit.

Entrepreneurs tend to get down on themselves for putting things off, so when a business owner develops a habit of procrastination, it will eventually damage the business–and the psyche. It's worthwhile to get to the root of this problem, rather than steep in blame and shame.

You may believe you have a time management issue, but you'd be wrong–sort of. Procrastination does lead to time management issues, but that's only a symptom of the bigger picture.

And, nope, it's not laziness; some of my most ambitious, successful clients used to procrastinate (oh, and I've done my share of it too), so it's not that.

What is procrastination? It's usually a stress response, not a time management issue or a blasé faire attitude. We all know that being an entrepreneur can be stressful, and it gets even worse if you're unclear and/or unhappy about your vision and goals.

Procrastination can get out of control.

Have you noticed that the longer you put something off, the more difficult it is to get it done? More things pile on, and you're too deep to climb out before you know it. This results in something called the procrastination accumulation effect. The resulting stress may include feelings of inadequacy, guilt about what is left undone, and fear of failure.

Ok, Marla, I'm stressed out, and I procrastinate. Now what? I have one word for you: Clarity!

Do you know what your vision is? Are you confident about its viability? Do you have a step-by-step plan to achieve your goals? If you don't know where you're going, you can't possibly get there. Of course, you will get lost in some form of procrastination. You may engage in busy work and not use your time efficiently. Odds are, if you haven't gotten really clear on your vision, model, strategy, values, and passion by now, you probably won't. Not until you get qualified help (raising my hand!) to create clarity and a plan.

Procrastination may be a sign that you hate what you do.

One of the leading causes of stress in entrepreneurs is a lack of money, which means they believe they can't afford hiring or outsourcing. You've taken on so much of the work required to keep the business going that you don't have the time to grow your business. It's frustrating that you procrastinate on this tedious work because it's not what you were born to do. It would help if you had clarity here too.

In reality, the savings that you associate with doing the work yourself is an illusion. If you had an extra 20-hours a week to work on growth, could you increase your revenue? Sure, you could. Spend your time focusing on the work that drives profits, and you'll be able to bankroll a part-time person before long.

Self-doubt and fear lead to procrastinative habits.

Fear is at the root of stress-related behavior, including procrastination. If you didn't have anxiety (or perhaps subconscious worries), you would have already achieved your vision or gotten close to it by now, right?

Imposter Syndrome feeds procrastination.

Many entrepreneurs suffer from Imposter Syndrome. Therefore, they procrastinate because it wards off any risk of being exposed to the negative consequences that they perceive as inevitable. Again, this is common and normal–there is nothing wrong with you.

Fortunately, the stigma associated with therapy and coaching has finally shifted. Entrepreneurs understand that they should not be on their journey alone. Whether you work with a coach and/or a therapist, your odds of success will exponentially increase once you believe in yourself and your vision. Let's get to work!

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Affirmations and Emotional Freedom Techniques for Difficult Times https://marlatabaka.com/2020/03/23/affirmations-and-emotional-freedom-techniques-for-difficult-times/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=affirmations-and-emotional-freedom-techniques-for-difficult-times Mon, 23 Mar 2020 13:48:58 +0000 https://marlatabaka.com/?p=60903 I’m beginning to see more posts from people who are reaching out to their crowd with offers of help during this trying time. From running necessary errands for their senior and immunocompromised neighbors to offering free online support resources, these folks are funneling their internal energy into an outward-facing mission. But it's difficult to thrive […]

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I’m beginning to see more posts from people who are reaching out to their crowd with offers of help during this trying time. From running necessary errands for their senior and immunocompromised neighbors to offering free online support resources, these folks are funneling their internal energy into an outward-facing mission. But it's difficult to thrive through helping others when you are immobilized by fear.

Know this: Everyone is afraid right now because we are all human.  It’s absolutely normal and acceptable to be afraid. Even the strongest among us are deeply concerned about some aspects of this war on Coronavirus.

Love yourself first, no matter who you are or what you’re feeling in the moment. Fear is not a bad thing, it’s what we do with it and that can become destructive.

Also know that you’re not alone.

Remember, fear does not make you weak; it can motivate you to access your greatest strengths and qualities.

You are amazing, no matter what you’re feeling and thinking right now. There is no time better than now to harvest all of that amazingness and make a difference. Whether it’s within yourself, your household, or the communities beyond your front door, even the smallest gesture will make a big difference.

Time for my secret weapon.

You can ease your stress and summon up the strength to reach out to others, even in the smallest way. The Emotional Freedom Techniques is the most efficient, powerful tool I know to do just that. There are many video resources on Facebook and sites like The Tapping Solution to help you release some of your fear.

Tap as often as you can. Below are a few affirmations to say as you tap on the meridian points we use in EFT. Use these affirmations as a boost throughout your day. There is a free tapping chart available on my EFT page.

Tap on any of the points, even if you use only one or two of your favorite points. Remember that if you are out in public use points that are not on your face. Follow these affirmations as a script, choose only a few, and/or create your own—whatever works best for you.

Affirmations and acceptance of yourself.

I feel fearful right now, and I accept myself, fear and all.

Everyone feels the coronavirus fear, fear is human and acceptable.

I forgive myself for not being perfect because I am human.

I am not alone.

I choose [insert here] (hope, love, kindness, joy, peace, strength, etc.).

I also know that at this very moment, I am safe.

At this moment I am safe.

I choose to release some of my fear now. I fill myself with [peace and calm].

I accept [peace and calm] – I feel it in my heart.

I choose to allow [peace, hope, love, well-being] to fill my heart.

Love is abundant in this world.

I give and accept love freely and fully.

I am willing to release some of my fear, along with any other obstacles to peace.

In this moment, I am safe.

I am safe. I am loved. I am grounded.

I release all that does not serve me.

I breathe with ease and inner-calm.

My breath flows deeply and smoothly.

I choose a deep, cleansing breath now. (Breathe deeply)

In this moment, I am filled with peace.

I choose to focus on my blessings. I am grateful.

I am safe. I am loved. I am strong. I am grounded.

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Should I Hire a Business Coach? 3 Signs That Say You’re Ready https://marlatabaka.com/2017/10/15/should-i-hire-a-business-coach-3-signs-that-say-youre-ready/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=should-i-hire-a-business-coach-3-signs-that-say-youre-ready Sun, 15 Oct 2017 14:39:34 +0000 http://www.marlatabaka.com/?p=30816 Perhaps you’ve never considered yourself as a candidate for coaching. Many believe they can’t afford a good business coach–others wonder how it can possibly help. Well, here’s the gist of it: successful people have coaches and mentors. And, with the right perspective in place, yes, you can afford a business coach. Below are only a […]

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Perhaps you’ve never considered yourself as a candidate for coaching. Many believe they can’t afford a good business coach–others wonder how it can possibly help. Well, here’s the gist of it: successful people have coaches and mentors. And, with the right perspective in place, yes, you can afford a business coach.

Below are only a few of the signs indicating that a business coach can help to elevate your personal and professional mindset and help to grow your small business in the most effective, expedient, and profitable way possible. But first, for those who fear they cannot afford a great coach, I want to paint a financial picture for you.

What does a business coach cost?

Really, the question should be, “how much more money can I make if I hire a great coach”. Still, the cost is a factor. Business coaches typically range from about $6,000 to $25,000 a year. Don’t make the mistake of believing that you get more for $25,000 than you do for, say, $15,000. Sometimes it’s only the marketing that’s more impressive, and other times you truly are paying for experience and success rates.

If you speak to a prospective coach and don't feel synergy, or you are uncertain if you're a good fit, then interview more coaches–don't settle. A business coach isn’t likely to tell you upfront how much he or she charges (it’s not good business), but most will schedule a no-cost consultation and reveal pricing there. Speak with coaches you believe you cannot afford, along with those who are less expensive. You are most likely to get your return on investment with a seasoned coach at your side.

Return on business coaching investment:

Coaches report clients’ ROI from seven to 49%. To me, ROI is a difficult discussion because it’s subjective. In my opinion (and that of the people I’ve worked with) there’s a significant return on investment that is not directly seen on spreadsheets: the removal of mental barriers that prevent success. With that said, not all business coaches focus on personal growth and mindset, so make that a topic of discussion when you interview your prospective coaches.

All-in-all, I can only speak for myself and the results that my clients experience (beyond eliminating the emotional barriers to success). I’ve helped solopreneurs go from very little monthly income to 20-30 thousand monthly. Entrepreneurs with scalable models have seen as much as 348% growth within two years (yes, you read that right). One particular client came to me averaging $120,000 a year in revenues, with about $34,000 in profit. Within 6 months she broke the million-dollar mark. A few years later she hit 45 MILLION in annual revenues.

Typically, my clients make back the money they’ve invested within 3-4 months, but of course, I cannot make any promises. So, when you think about whether or not you can afford a coach, think more about how the investment will pay off. An ethical coach will not take your business if he or she is not reasonably certain they can help you (the client’s level of participation is out of our hands).

Ready to find out if you will profit from business coaching? Contact me to find out!

What are the signs that you’re ready for a business coach? Here are 3 of many:

  1. You feel overwhelmed and, at times, very lonely.

Only you are completely vested in the outcome of your decisions and, ultimately, your business. Even your spouse may not “get it”.  Your coach’s success is based on your success; we want you to succeed with every cell of our being. Working with a coach makes decision-making easier. Decision overload is a common block to progress and breeds more problems, but your problems are not unique to you. Believe me, we coaches have been through just about any obstacle and limiting belief you can think of many times over with previous clients (and in our own businesses). Coaches know what works and what does not, so there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. In addition, many coaches will help you get crystal clear on your vision, values, and strategy, which also eases the burden of decision-making and can rapidly increase profits.

  1. Your business model works on paper, but not in reality.

You know it can work, so why isn’t your business making enough money? Entrepreneurs get too close to the problems to see the solutions. Your coach will take you outside of your business to a 5000-foot view of it. You will see your business from a fresh perspective and have an experienced person to collaborate with and help create processes and strategies to make your small business work.

Secondly, you’re probably in your own way.  Whether it’s conscious or unconscious self-sabotage, your monkey-mind stops you in your tracks. A talented coach will help you break the self-sabotage habit and develop and maintain an empowering mindset.

  1. You want a safe place to process, vent, and brainstorm.

Many prospects with already profitable businesses come to me for support, accountability, and collaboration. They need a place to collect their thoughts, affirm their choices, and bounce around ideas. Successful people understand the power that’s found in a great coach/client relationship. They aren’t necessarily looking to fix anything but to continue to evolve, grow, and prosper.

Yes, you're ready for a business coach.

How about it? Are you ready for a business coaching relationship? Typically, it costs you nothing to find out. Feel free to contact me or ask your peers for their coach’s names, search online, and inquire on social media. You will find many of us out there who want to help you, but you are the only one who can determine which person feels just right for you.

Contact me for your complimentary consultation today!

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This is For You Overwhelmed Control Freakazoids! The Art of Letting Go https://marlatabaka.com/2017/06/11/let-go-of-control-to-make-money/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=let-go-of-control-to-make-money Sun, 11 Jun 2017 15:59:44 +0000 http://www.marlatabaka.com/?p=23718 Did I make that word up? Freak-a-zoid. OK, I did, but it seems fitting. I often hear overwhelmed entrepreneurs call themselves control freaks (as though that’s a good thing). They take pride in having their hand in everything, if not doing it all themselves. There are only two outcomes when a small business owner (I say […]

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Did I make that word up? Freak-a-zoid. OK, I did, but it seems fitting. I often hear overwhelmed entrepreneurs call themselves control freaks (as though that’s a good thing). They take pride in having their hand in everything, if not doing it all themselves. There are only two outcomes when a small business owner (I say small business owner because no business gets large when the owner is a control freakazoid) can’t let go:

  1. The business never becomes outrageously successful
  2. The entrepreneur crashes and burns

Why small business owners are overwhelmed.

You cannot do it all and have success, remain healthy, and enjoy your life. Of course, there are periods of time that you want to pull your hair out, but achieving balance is about also enjoying life outside of your business. To do that, you’ve got to let go—that’s when it’s time to have a chat with your inner control freakazoid so it takes over only when absolutely necessary.

Here’s the question I ask clients who admit to having a control issue:

If you had an extra fifteen to twenty hours a week to spend on growing your business, what would you do with those hours?

Funny, they all know the answer. And yet, they aren’t doing it! In other words, they are doing non-revenue-generating tasks instead of making money. When you put it this way it sounds crazy, doesn’t it? That’s because it is!

I hear you: “But Marla! There are always fires to put out, bookkeeping to do, customers to satisfy. I don’t have the time for those money-making activities.”

Yes, I hear you, but do you hear yourself? There’s no way this doesn’t sound, well, like your inner-freakazoid talking!

Here’s are some of the reasons it’s not working for you when you hire someone else to do some of this work:

  • There is not a proper training protocol in place.
  • You “don’t have the time (or patience)” to communicate EXACTLY what you expect from them.
  • You bring on cheap or free labor and expect high-quality work.
  • You yourself don’t really know what you want.
  • You don’t know the questions to ask to identify the best person for the job.

Lastly, there’s this crazy popular belief, one that supersedes all the above issues:

I can’t afford help.

Oh, but yes you can! Actually, you can’t NOT afford to hire help. You are losing profit potential with every minute you spend doing “hired help” work. I know I don’t need to explain this to you.

Take a leap of faith.

Put a few things on the backburner, just for a little while, and properly train someone who’s qualified to do the tasks you’ve identified as non-revenue-generating. You know what they are. Invest in your company! If you truly believe in your company’s potential and you believe in yourself, this investment is not a risk—it’s a path to success.

The post This is For You Overwhelmed Control Freakazoids! The Art of Letting Go appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

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Anger and Bitterness Pave the Way to Failure. Here’s How to Let Go https://marlatabaka.com/2016/09/07/anger-bitterness-lead-to-failure-release-it-now/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=anger-bitterness-lead-to-failure-release-it-now Wed, 07 Sep 2016 13:20:48 +0000 http://www.marlatabaka.com/?p=9589 I get it. Sometimes life just makes us angry. We're all human, and certainly the expression of anger can be healthy. There is a point in time; however, that anger goes too far, leading to ongoing bitterness and resentment. WARNING: Anger, used improperly, may be harmful to your health. From a business partnership gone sour, to a […]

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Remnants of a broken glass on a black background with the remains of the tumbler and loose shards with jagged edges

I get it. Sometimes life just makes us angry. We're all human, and certainly the expression of anger can be healthy. There is a point in time; however, that anger goes too far, leading to ongoing bitterness and resentment. WARNING: Anger, used improperly, may be harmful to your health.

From a business partnership gone sour, to a failed business or bitter divorce, we all have our share of life events that we could choose to feel angry and bitter about. But, let’s face it, those emotions will eventually lead to disruptive thoughts and actions (not of the good kind), and the fearful thinking that is the kiss of death in business. And worse, emotional burdens have a good chance of putting you in the hospital someday if left unresolved.

“I’m not bitter or angry!” It’s usually the angriest people who make that claim. It comes from denial and the need to convince themselves that they have their emotions under control—otherwise, things get scary.

Begin by recognizing the signs, readjusting your perspective, and making the decision to change. Letting go of anger and bitterness to tip the scales in favor of forgiveness is the healthy thing to do. Don’t confuse forgiveness with condoning another’s actions. It simply means that you are no longer willing to carry the burden of those actions.

What are the signs of prolonged anger and bitterness?

  • You're consistently externalizing blame. When you continue to criticize, judge, and point the finger at others years after an upsetting event, bitterness has probably set in.
  • You're hypersensitive. Bitter people often become touchy and upset over small incidents. They may be suspicious of others' intentions and have a difficult time trusting them.
  • You're regretful. Anger and bitterness make it difficult to take responsibility for your own actions without experiencing blame and regret. If you're stuck in a cycle of remorse and sadness there may be some unresolved bitterness lurking within.

[dt_highlight color=”” text_color=”” bg_color=””]If you see yourself fitting into this profile, contact me for a complimentary consultation to see how I can help.[/dt_highlight]

Why is bitterness so damaging?

  • Stress hormones. The negative emotions attached to bitterness can influence stress responses and release the hormone cortisol. Chronically high levels of this hormone can affect the immune system and increase the odds of disease.
  • Creates a warped sense of reality. Holding onto negative emotions alters your perception of what is possible. A failed partnership may lead to the belief that no partnership can be successful; a downturn in the economy can result in a misguided belief that you have no control over the success or failure of your business.
  • Immobilizes you. Bitterness may keep you stuck in something that's not working. I've seen people cling to their bitterness in such a way that it seems they are trying to get even with or prove a point to the offending person. These people become resistant to change and remain attached to a failing business model for fear of letting the other person off the hook.

How can anger be resolved?

  • Forgive others.  It may seem impossible to forgive a betrayal or the selfish behavior of another, but I've helped countless people through the process. This always leads to the development of a healthier, happier entrepreneur and greater success in life and business. When bitterness lessens its grip, you can focus on other, more positive parts of your life and career. To initiate the process of forgiveness, explore the fact that continued anger and resentment hurt only you, your loved ones, and your business. You give away your power when you allow undeserving individuals and their actions to take up space in your head. Again, remember that your intent is to forgive the actions of others, not condone them.
  • Take responsibility. Taking responsibility for your own actions, past and present, will stop the cycle of blame. This goes a long way in the bitterness-recovery process.
  • Be productive. Recognize when you're engaging in vengeful fantasies and turn your thoughts to something more uplifting or productive.
  • Shift your perspective. Lastly, discuss your feelings and viewpoints with a professional, objective third party, like your coach. There are many tools available to you that will make it easier to release negative emotions and take on a fresh, healthy perspective.

If you recognize any of the signs of bitterness and anger in your own thoughts and behavior, let’s talk. We’ll figure out what’s going on and explore what steps you could take to shed this sh*t once and for all!

The post Anger and Bitterness Pave the Way to Failure. Here’s How to Let Go appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

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Want to Become a Better Entrepreneur? Get Some Sleep. https://marlatabaka.com/2016/07/06/smart-entrepreneurs-get-sleep/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=smart-entrepreneurs-get-sleep Wed, 06 Jul 2016 20:44:31 +0000 http://www.marlatabaka.com/?p=6260 For entrepreneurs, sleep deprivation is an unfortunate fact of life: when you’re responsible for a company, you often work round the clock. And when your success and your financial well-being are riding on how well that company does under your management you might lie awake at night worrying or mulling over your next strategic move. […]

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getty_103638181_9707279704500152_66103For entrepreneurs, sleep deprivation is an unfortunate fact of life: when you’re responsible for a company, you often work round the clock. And when your success and your financial well-being are riding on how well that company does under your management you might lie awake at night worrying or mulling over your next strategic move.

Sleep deprivation is bad, we all know that. When I'm tired I'm not creative, attentive, or focused–I can even fall into a funk (not so good for productivity). As if that's not bad enough, scientific studies show that there’s one more negative side effect to sleep deprivation: memory loss.

Researchers from Northwestern University and Uppsala University in Sweden have found that when people don’t get enough sleep, they start to forget things. When sleep and stress go hand in hand, Northwestern’s Jonathan Cedernaes found, it negatively affects cognitive function.

Cedernaes's studies concluded that when you’re both tired and stressed out, a condition many of us are far too familiar with, your brain is less capable of accessing the knowledge that you’ve got stored away and you rely mainly on muscle memory.

What does this mean for an entrepreneur?

It means that, if you want to be on top of what is going on in your company, you need to get some sleep. You spend your working hours juggling pieces of information, and many of them are crucial to your company’s success. To forget the wrong thing at the wrong time could be a disaster.

Here’s how you can fight back against stress, sleep deprivation, and forgetfulness:

  • Recognize the value of a good night’s sleep and schedule your life accordingly! Keep commitments minimal on weekday evenings.
  • Get your body ready for sleep by turning off screens. Yes, that means stop looking at your phone, not minutes, but a few hours before you go to bed.
  • Minimize your caffeine intake in the afternoons and evenings–just a minimal reduction can make it easier for you to fall asleep at night.
  • Establish a morning routine that makes getting out of bed easy and painless.
  • Recognize that everyone needs sleep and strive for a workplace culture in which people are encouraged to come to work rested, ready to do their best. If your team is exhausted and stressed from working too hard the night before long, those long hours will backfire on you.
  • If you’re really serious about getting enough sleep set up a nap room in your office! A thirty-minute nap will pay for itself ten-fold!

I feel a nap coming on myself!

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