People often confuse high-achieving behavior with perfectionistic behavior. High achievers are dedicated, determined individuals with a strong desire to accomplish something important to them. Their achievements are not about what others will think of them or a fear of failure; it's to gain personal gratification from their success. On the other hand, people who deem themselves perfectionists are not driven by the pursuit of perfection; the avoidance of failure drives them.rue perfectionists aren't trying to be perfect; they are avoiding not being good enough. This avoidance dictates much of their behavior, and it's linked to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and even suicide. Paul Hewitt, Ph.D., and psychologist Gordon Flett are two of the most respected researchers of perfectionistic behavior. They say that those who feel social pressure to achieve perfection tend to think that the better they do, the better they are expected to do. And so, the search for absolute perfection never ends.

Are you a high achiever or a perfectionist? Here are seven signs that your pursuit of perfection may put you at risk of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and, in extreme cases, suicidal thinking.

1. Despite your search for perfection, you never feel perfect.

Dr. Hewitt uses this example of a college student who is also one of his patients and how the student viewed his success. The student was convinced he needed an A+ in a particular course, so he studied hard and aced the class. However, the student became even more depressed and suicidal than he was prior to the end of the semester. “He told me that the A+ was just a demonstration of how much of a failure he was,” says Hewitt. The student argued that if he were perfect, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get an A+.

2. As a perfectionist, you cannot accept and celebrate your success.

It's never good enough, so you get sucked so far into the details that you become frustrated–even angry. Even when your goal is complete and results in success, you believe you could and should have done it better.

Perfectionists don't acknowledge their wins to the extent of feeling the joy and satisfaction of a job well done. Instead, they find flaws in how they (or others) executed the project. There is always something wrong, even though the outcome is exactly what they wanted.

3. You don't allow yourself any mistakes.

While an individual with a healthy mindset allows for mistakes, an extreme perfectionist doesn't forgive their mistakes. Instead of viewing them as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less-than-perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, even stupid, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing all productivity.

4. You put up a front, insisting everything is perfect.

Perfectionists are intensely afraid of being judged by others. They often want the outside world to view them as being perfect and making perfection easy. Even when your world is a disaster zone, you put up a front to lead others to think it's all just perfect.

5. You avoid taking on challenges that may cause you to fail.

Perfectionists like to stick with what they know. If you're presented with an opportunity that means you'll have to develop more skills or move outside of your comfort zone, you're likely to turn it down. You're afraid you're not smart enough to tackle a new learning curve and will be seen as a failure or let down someone.

6. You believe that your likeability is linked to being perfect.

Personality and positive qualities like honesty, compassion, humor, etc., aren't what perfectionists believe people will like about them. It's not enough to be a wonderful person; you must be perfectly wonderful. You don't allow others to see your flaws, and you most likely talk about your achievements but never your failures.

7. Your life doesn't satisfy you.

Perfectionists cope well in a low-stress environment–so as long as nothing challenges you, you're fine. When was the last time you weren't challenged by life? Right, because nothing is perfect. When life seems unsettled to you, it presents a problem. Anxiety often increases, which offers the illusion that nothing is going well, thereby decreasing life satisfaction.

8. You need help with getting things done on time.

Since perfection is an illusion, the pursuit of perfection is never complete, and neither are your projects. You may get things done, but you constantly battle the decisions and motivation to complete certain things. The “what ifs” and expectation of a negative consequence or result preoccupies you, and the pressure can be overwhelming.

Can you overcome the seemingly never-ending pursuit of perfection?

There's nothing we can't overcome if we put our minds to it. Pay attention to these situations if you occasionally insist on perfection, but it causes excessive stress. I suggest journaling about them to find the shared link. The awareness alone will help you get to the core and figure out what it's all about. Observe how others accept themselves, flaws and all, and assign yourself a few virtual mentors to follow. Learning how successful people built upon their failures instead of hiding from them will help get things into perspective.

Hewitt and Flett say that perfectionism is a risk factor for psychological disorders–not a disorder itself. If it leads to depression, anxiety, or other exhausting mental states, therapy can help. Yes, you can develop a healthy mindset and make life much easier and more rewarding for yourself.

The post 8 Signs You’re a Perfectionist (and Why It’s Toxic to Your Mental Health) appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Here are the issues I see most often; however, I could list many more! If you recognize any of these tendencies in yourself, you should first know that you’re not alone! The second thing to know is that your business can and will grow if you conquer the inclinations that hold you back.

1. STOP ignoring your numbers.

Numbers are the one thing in life that tell an accurate, consistent story. If your business is struggling, it is certainly easier to ignore the financial facts, but number anxiety and avoidance only create a deeper abyss between you and your success. I’ve had clients who can’t even tell me what it costs to run their business or how much money they have in the bank. There is no shame in this; I get it, but unawareness of these facts is damaging, and the pain of not knowing is usually more profound than the truth behind your numbers.

Bite the bullet. Hire a bookkeeper or accountant and get your books in order. Organizing and understanding your numbers will give you a roadmap for your next steps and help you understand where to put your focus.

2. STOP doubting yourself.

Confidence is at the core of success; self-doubt is your greatest saboteur. It’s natural for confidence to ebb and flow, but if you get stuck in a loop of negative thinking and a lack of confidence, it will undoubtedly hold you back. So what if you fail at something? That’s how we learn and gain wisdom. Have the courage to fail and put the lion’s share of your focus on your many positive achievements.

3. STOP holding on to employees who don’t perform.

You believe it’s easier to have a warm body than to take the time to locate, hire and train a new employee, right? That belief is so, so wrong! I’ve worked with many business owners who’ve made this mistake. When they finally agree to take the leap and let go of an underperforming employee, they berate themselves for not doing it sooner. If the employee is well-meaning, it is even more difficult because now the entrepreneur feels terrible about letting them go. Most people don’t know that if a team member can’t keep up for any reason, they are as unhappy as you are. Release them, free yourself from a damaging situation, and you will both be much happier.

4. STOP accepting clients who are not on brand.

An essential part of your brand is knowing your ideal client. If you’re not clear on that, it would be wise to make it your next priority. Market only to that niche, and don’t step outside of it because you need the money because fear-driven decisions will always backfire. These clients will cause problems, you may not be able to meet their expectations, you won’t enjoy the work, and it will consume more time, keeping you from your ideal clients.

5. STOP avoiding growth strategies.

If you’re putting out fires, working on non-revenue producing tasks, and engaging in what we call, productive procrastination, you will notachieve revenue-generating growth. Such procrastination is usually a consequence of confusion, uncertainty, and fear, not a condition. Your first step is to separate revenue-generating action steps from tasks that are not the work of an entrepreneur. If you must do these other tasks (that’s a whole separate issue), schedule two hours of uninterrupted time to dedicate to them as often as needed throughout your week. Spend the remainder of your day, once again uninterrupted, being an entrepreneur. No excuses, no procrastination.

What’s next?

How can you gain clarity and find solutions to the issues that stand between you and your dreams of further success? It’s unlikely that you’ll do it alone. The good news is you can absolutely make it happen.

Most people believe it’s about buckling down, determination, and struggle. It doesn’t have to be this way. Hire a great coach. Work on yourself first, then your business, not the other way around. It’s your mindset that’s holding you and millions of other entrepreneurs back from the ultimate dream of freedom and happiness. And that, my friend, can be resolved.

The post 5 Growth-Stunting Habits You Must Stop Doing Now appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Here's why I ask.

We sometimes dislike or become frustrated by aspects of whom we appear to be–or whom we judge ourselves to be–but these qualities aren't always as they appear.

For instance, I've had clients who are very sensitive and empathetic. As a result, they tend to take things personally. They will take on others' problems as their own and procrastinate on essential tasks, either because they worry too much or because they are busy tending to the needs of another.

These sensitive, empathetic qualities can nearly cripple business owners and their business growth when they display as weaknesses. Suppose this individual gets caught up in their fear of being too vulnerable, pleasing everyone, failing, and never being good enough. In that case, they won't take the emotional risks associated with a successful business. That takes a backseat to the fact that they are too busy and exhausted by their emotions to act on these risks.

Another example is the entrepreneur who strives for perfection, so they claim no one can do things right. They pick at every detail to the point of going overboard. Subsequently, this individual engages in self-criticism and frustration because they get nothing of significant value done. The lack of delegation and trust are blinders that keep this entrepreneur from seeing the talents and strengths that others bring to the table.

The flipside to our strengths and weaknesses.

People don't often realize that our weaknesses are often the flip side of our strengths. The very things that hold us back are aspects of a strength that is undervalued or overused. Individuals who are sensitive and empathetic often have the gift of creativity. They can see things that others don't notice. They are curious, so they explore the possibilities missed by others. Creative individuals can diffuse tension and relate well to others. They often make great bosses because of these abilities, and coupled with an innovative mind, they make outstanding entrepreneurs.

Perfectionism, when appearing as a positive quality, allows an individual to pay attention to the smallest detail and see errors and ideas that others won't. They are ambitious and can motivate others. Perfectionists at their best strive to be the best version of themselves and are often envied for their drive and success.

The shadow side of our strengths.

The examples are endless because we all have this “shadow” side of our strengths. When our positive qualities are misdirected or go into overdrive, they shift to the shadow side and become painful and self-defeating.

Imagine a spectrum that is black at one end and white at the other. Our strengths at their best lean toward the white end; our strengths' shadows, or weaknesses, are at the dark end. As you can imagine, many of these personal assets float around somewhere in between the white and black ends of the spectrum, depending on whether we leverage them well or overuse or ignore them.

Understanding this helps us to realize we have choices.

The shadow is not who we are or what defines us. When the shadow takes over, we can flip it around to lean into our strengths and shift our perspective. How do you do that?

Begin by identifying the shadow side of your strengths.

For some, it's easier to identify the flipside of their weaknesses, rather than their strengths. Then try these ideas to nudge your shadows up the spectrum toward being strengths.

Don't hate your shadow.

Your shadow is simply a side of you that you don't see in a helpful, positive light. Resistance, such as frustration or pushing something away, only makes life more challenging. When we allow all aspects of ourselves to be recognized and worked with, we shift from resistance to allowing, which is a much less stressful way of living.

Embrace your strengths!

The shadows that don't serve you have a flip side that makes you an exceptional human being. Focus on those parts of who you are. Journal about what makes you successful (at anything), happy, and healthy.

Celebrate your successes.

We often deny our strengths and make excuses for why we can't be better. Push away the “yeah but” tendencies and celebrate even the most minor success. When I point out a win to some of my clients, they predictably say, “yeah, but (add criticism here). The more you recognize and celebrate, the more you believe in yourself.

Don't let someone steal your internal locus of control.

If you feel happy about a situation, don't let someone else's viewpoint or actions steal your joy. Put your reaction in a box and come back to it later if you must. Your qualities, perseverance, and talents are responsible for your success; no one can take that from you. Don't, for instance, let a reaction from one client affect how you work with the next one. Maintain your confidence.

Live less in the shadow.

When your strengths are in overdrive, and your actions are not productive and helpful, stop to recognize what you're doing. Take a deep breath and ask yourself how to elevate your talent or quality to live in or closer to the white. If you're being overly perfectionistic to the point of generating stress, get real with yourself. What is perfect to you may be flawed to another, so there is no such thing as perfect.

Choose your reactions and actions intentionally.

Make a different choice than being victim to the less productive end of the spectrum (the shadow). When something upsets you, do your best to be optimistic instead of going into an anxious, “what if” response. When the shadow is at work you may get caught up in catastrophizing the situation. Be careful of exaggerating the impact of any problems that arise. Understanding that you can choose your behavior is empowering so put more intention into your thoughts and actions.

B!tch slap anxiety.

Yes, you read that right. Be kind and understanding of feelings like fear and worry. On the flip side, you want to be firm with your anxiety. Anxiety is not a feeling; it's a hard-wired physical reaction to your mind's response to something. Tell your anxiety to take a hike, take a deep breath, and talk to yourself or journal about your concerns and worries. Choose. healthy distraction from your anxiety. Leverage your strengths in every situation.

The post Stuck? In Your Own Way? This Is Important for You to Know appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Entrepreneurs tend to get down on themselves for putting things off, so when a business owner develops a habit of procrastination, it will eventually damage the business–and the psyche. It's worthwhile to get to the root of this problem, rather than steep in blame and shame.

You may believe you have a time management issue, but you'd be wrong–sort of. Procrastination does lead to time management issues, but that's only a symptom of the bigger picture.

And, nope, it's not laziness; some of my most ambitious, successful clients used to procrastinate (oh, and I've done my share of it too), so it's not that.

What is procrastination? It's usually a stress response, not a time management issue or a blasé faire attitude. We all know that being an entrepreneur can be stressful, and it gets even worse if you're unclear and/or unhappy about your vision and goals.

Procrastination can get out of control.

Have you noticed that the longer you put something off, the more difficult it is to get it done? More things pile on, and you're too deep to climb out before you know it. This results in something called the procrastination accumulation effect. The resulting stress may include feelings of inadequacy, guilt about what is left undone, and fear of failure.

Ok, Marla, I'm stressed out, and I procrastinate. Now what? I have one word for you: Clarity!

Do you know what your vision is? Are you confident about its viability? Do you have a step-by-step plan to achieve your goals? If you don't know where you're going, you can't possibly get there. Of course, you will get lost in some form of procrastination. You may engage in busy work and not use your time efficiently. Odds are, if you haven't gotten really clear on your vision, model, strategy, values, and passion by now, you probably won't. Not until you get qualified help (raising my hand!) to create clarity and a plan.

Procrastination may be a sign that you hate what you do.

One of the leading causes of stress in entrepreneurs is a lack of money, which means they believe they can't afford hiring or outsourcing. You've taken on so much of the work required to keep the business going that you don't have the time to grow your business. It's frustrating that you procrastinate on this tedious work because it's not what you were born to do. It would help if you had clarity here too.

In reality, the savings that you associate with doing the work yourself is an illusion. If you had an extra 20-hours a week to work on growth, could you increase your revenue? Sure, you could. Spend your time focusing on the work that drives profits, and you'll be able to bankroll a part-time person before long.

Self-doubt and fear lead to procrastinative habits.

Fear is at the root of stress-related behavior, including procrastination. If you didn't have anxiety (or perhaps subconscious worries), you would have already achieved your vision or gotten close to it by now, right?

Imposter Syndrome feeds procrastination.

Many entrepreneurs suffer from Imposter Syndrome. Therefore, they procrastinate because it wards off any risk of being exposed to the negative consequences that they perceive as inevitable. Again, this is common and normal–there is nothing wrong with you.

Fortunately, the stigma associated with therapy and coaching has finally shifted. Entrepreneurs understand that they should not be on their journey alone. Whether you work with a coach and/or a therapist, your odds of success will exponentially increase once you believe in yourself and your vision. Let's get to work!

The post Procrastination Making You Miserable? This is Just What You Need appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

I’ll never succeed.
I don’t deserve success.
I don’t even deserve to be loved.
I’ll never be happy.
I’m not enough.
I feel like a fraud.
I can’t do this; I don’t have what it takes.

Inner B.S. thoughts like these keep too many dreams from becoming a reality.

For those who are plagued with these often crippling thoughts, they may pause at times, but they don’t go away.

They come from a place deep down inside—secrets, trauma, life experiences that tell you that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy of your dreams.

This rambling recording of negativity has been with you for such a long time that it’s become a part of who you are.

You dismiss the root cause of your B.S. thoughts because, after all, you’re a logically minded adult, you should be over it by now.

But you don’t just get over it. The beliefs and physical responses to your negative life experiences are stored in your nervous system and get triggered at a subconscious level. This is a big part of the reason for your B.S. soundtrack.

Enter my Secret Weapon.

The Emotional Freedom Techniques, aka, EFT, or tapping, is a powerful method that can reprogram your thinking and release your once hostage dream of freedom. Yes, your thoughts of doubt and fear can be replaced with positive thoughts and beliefs that will support you in your entrepreneurial and life endeavors.

While I have nearly 20 years of evidence that EFT is a powerful tool, I learned something from a client this week that reminded me of the subtle energetic nuances of tapping.

A common phrase used in EFT is, “I love and accept myself anyway.” Sometimes, as I’m guiding a client through a tapping session, I’ll shorten it to, “But, I love myself anyway.” Sadly, this is not always easy for people to say.

I. Love. Myself. Anyway.

Say it out loud three times! Do you feel it? Do you believe it?

My client has transformed this single sentence into a tool of its own. During the week between our coaching sessions, she began adding, “But I love myself anyway,” to the end of every negative thought that her mind threw at her.

“I’m stuck in this awful situation, and I’ll never get out…but I love myself anyway.”

“I’m never going to get my business to the next level. I feel like giving up. But I love myself anyway.”

What a great way to diffuse negative thoughts! Love is powerful. Acknowledging her negative thoughts, rather than hatefully push them down, sends a clear message to the brain that the B.S. thinking will not win out.

What a loving way to talk back to self-talk. When you say something often enough, you learn to believe it. “But I love myself anyway,” is a beautiful thing to acknowledge.

Shift your thinking – I call it BullShift™ – by calling out the limiting thoughts that come to you and placing the focus on loving yourself instead of dwelling in the B.S. It’s pure. It’s simple. And it’s a subtle yet mighty force that will inspire you to believe in yourself.

The post But I Love Myself Anyway appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

(This post about lack of confidence was originally written for Inc.com where it has received over 350k views.)

I'm not sure if you have the time to read this article, and I'm sorry if it's taking you away from something more important. Really, I hate to bother you–it's just that I think I have something kind of important to tell you. Is that OK?

The post 7 Phrases That Scream Lack of Confidence appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

1. The business never becomes outrageously successful
2. The entrepreneur crashes and burns

Why small business owners are overwhelmed.

You cannot do it all and have success, remain healthy, and enjoy your life. Of course, there are periods of time that you want to pull your hair out, but achieving balance is about also enjoying life outside of your business. To do that, you’ve got to let go—that’s when it’s time to have a chat with your inner control freakazoid so it takes over only when absolutely necessary.

Here’s the question I ask clients who admit to having a control issue:

If you had an extra fifteen to twenty hours a week to spend on growing your business, what would you do with those hours?

Funny, they all know the answer. And yet, they aren’t doing it! In other words, they are doing non-revenue-generating tasks instead of making money. When you put it this way it sounds crazy, doesn’t it? That’s because it is!

I hear you: “But Marla! There are always fires to put out, bookkeeping to do, customers to satisfy. I don’t have the time for those money-making activities.”

Yes, I hear you, but do you hear yourself? There’s no way this doesn’t sound, well, like your inner-freakazoid talking!

Here’s are some of the reasons it’s not working for you when you hire someone else to do some of this work:

• There is not a proper training protocol in place.
• You “don’t have the time (or patience)” to communicate EXACTLY what you expect from them.
• You bring on cheap or free labor and expect high-quality work.
• You yourself don’t really know what you want.
• You don’t know the questions to ask to identify the best person for the job.

Lastly, there’s this crazy popular belief, one that supersedes all the above issues:

I can’t afford help.

Oh, but yes you can! Actually, you can’t NOT afford to hire help. You are losing profit potential with every minute you spend doing “hired help” work. I know I don’t need to explain this to you.

Take a leap of faith.

Put a few things on the backburner, just for a little while, and properly train someone who’s qualified to do the tasks you’ve identified as non-revenue-generating. You know what they are. Invest in your company! If you truly believe in your company’s potential and you believe in yourself, this investment is not a risk—it’s a path to success.

The post This is For You Overwhelmed Control Freakazoids! The Art of Letting Go appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

When clients bring an agenda into every coaching discussion, it is likely to block progress on something even more important. When the ongoing focus remains on a list of questions, updates, and goals, you and your coach won't have the opportunity to tap into your subconscious mind often enough. The REAL problems aren't usually addressed.

In fact, I find that clients who are overly diligent about an agenda are usually avoiding difficult discussions; whether it's a conscious decision or not, this falls into the self-sabotage arena and blocks progress.

So, if coaching isn't strictly about a laundry list of goals and activities, what really matters?

Commitment.

Many people believe that they are committed to the process, and to a successful, happy future, but they block themselves from really diving in. Your coach should call you on it and support you as you learn to open up, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and create sustainable, meaningful change internally, in your business, and in your personal life.

Below are a few things that a great coach measures to identify whether or not his/her client is fully committed and means business. These are things that matter to your coach–and should definitely matter to you!

Commit fully to business coaching sessions, or not at all.

In my old business model, I accepted clients on a month-to-month basis. I found that some of my clients would cancel coaching sessions at the last minute, schedule sessions weeks apart, and delay beginning a new month. These are not the people I want to work with, so I changed my model. Now, I require a 6-month or 1-year commitment payable upfront–and what a difference it's made! 100% of my clients are all in. All of them make amazing progress, and every one of them continues to discover deeper layers within.

Demonstrate to yourself that you are committed to growth and success. Treat your business coaching session like a critical meeting with a client; you would not cancel it because you're too busy or because Johnie forgot his lunch. Also, take your work seriously; if you feel that you don't have the time to work on your goals, then work on that limiting belief with your coach. You must make the time by reorganizing your business and priorities.

Block out distractions during your coaching session and pay attention.

I can always tell when a client has a browser or their email open. You may be the queen or king of multi-tasking, but you're fooling yourself if you believe you're still absorbing your coach's words. I've had clients who had to resort to driving to a park to resist distractions and find some peace and quiet for their sessions. Do whatever it takes.

Be honest and open- be vulnerable.

This is the most important element in an amazing relationship–with yourself and with your business coach. Many entrepreneurs have told me that, since the business is paying for the business coaching sessions, they don't want to talk about themselves. That's crazy! In many ways, YOU are your business. If you are not happy, focused, and whole, the business will fail. Period, end of story.

If you are unable to achieve a well-rounded, open, and honest relationship with your life or business coach, one of two things are most likely at play: either you don't trust your coach, or you don't trust yourself. Talk about your deepest fears and anxieties. An amazing coach is in your life to help you reframe and resolve limiting beliefs–to help you expand your comfort zone and shift your paradigm. An amazing coach will help you to achieve absolute confidence and to believe in yourself. This is the stuff that a life-changing experience is made of!

The post Coaching Sessions: 3 Surprising Things Your Business Coach May Want You To Do appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Stop the self-sabotage! Once you accept the truth behind the value and worth of your services, prospects will pay more–much more.

You're an expert. In the most rudimentary language, this means that you know more about your topic than the average person, especially your target market. It also means that the sharing of your expertise will help others achieve or improve upon something that would otherwise have been very difficult or nearly impossible. How much value do you place on what you know and your method(s) of delivery? Probably not enough.

Speakers, trainers, coaches and service providers can easily underestimate the value of their offerings because there are few or no cost of goods sold and overhead is negligible. But that's not the only reason they tend to diminish their worth; internal messaging is the biggest culprit.

In working with small business owners and solo-practitioners as a business coach over the years, I've seen a pattern of thinking that, frankly, keeps people poor. I've even experienced it myself–perhaps you have as well. The pattern I'm referring to is the ongoing questioning of the worth of your services, undervaluing them (therefore yourself) internally. You may believe that this negativity doesn't show on the outside, but you'd be wrong. When you diminish the importance and uniqueness of your knowledge, it's impossible for your prospects to set a high value on what you offer. The energy behind your sales pitch simply will not match that of a highly valuable end result.

I've actually come to believe that well-delivered information, inspiration, and emotional support are priceless. While priceless isn't acceptable in negotiations, embracing this theory will help you to set–and get–fees that are commensurate with the actual worth of your services.

Here are a few of the statements I've heard from people who are stuck in this loop of negative thinking. I call them lies, or excuses because they are only a means of self-sabotage that keep you from taking an emotional risk. It's time to stop the lies and accept the truth.

1. Lie: It's just common sense, anyone can figure this out.

Truth: If they could have figured it out on their own, they would not be seeking your help. Perhaps they have pieces of the puzzle but haven't put them together yet. Many experts tend to diminish their wisdom because it comes so naturally to them. What is simple to you may feel like rocket science to another. Your ability to turn rocket-science into manageable information is, as I said, priceless.

2. Lie: They can find this information online; they don't need me.

Truth: If you are a trainer or teacher, much of what you teach is most likely available online and in books. People are busy, some aren't great at collecting information, and most are willing to pay for the opportunity to access what they need through one convenient resource. Additionally, you put your own unique spin on the information, making it a meaningful process–unlike reading long articles and sifting through uninformed opinions in on-line forums.

3. Lie: I probably don't know as much as I think I do. I might be found out!

Truth: Ask yourself if you know more than your prospect. Perhaps they do know a lot, but are they acting upon it? Can you make it easier and more likely for them to take action? The answer is yes. You make peoples' lives easier and richer. Again, priceless.

4. Lie: What if they tell me it's not worth much? I may be facing rejection!

Truth: What if's create a tumbleweed of possibilities. Why not turn your negative what if's into positives? What if your client adores you to the moon and back? Understand that if–I should say when–a prospect says no, it probably has nothing to do with you at all. Don't assume that a “no” is a reflection on your talent and worth. Your prospects are dealing with their own limiting beliefs, including a perceived lack of funds.

5. Lie: If my client(s) fail, it will be my fault–It will mean I'm not very good at this after all.

Truth: Boy, this one used to be a biggie for me until I had a life-changing realization: not everyone is ready to do what it takes to get the results they desire–even if they say they are. As the old saying dictates, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, some of your clients will not show up as superstars. You're great at what you do and many of the people you work with soar to success with you at their side, right? To achieve a one-hundred percent success rate when you base your success on that of another is an act of self-sabotage. That's the truth.

If you have a challenge believing in yourself, muster up the courage to ask for help from a professional. You are so worth it!

The post 5 Harmful Lies Entrepreneurs Tell Themselves (and how to stop doing it) appeared first on Marla Tabaka.