We know that stress builds upon stress. The longer you allow stress to run your thoughts, actions, and behaviors, the more it becomes your default setting. You wake up in the morning, and your brain instantly searches for what is wrong in your life rather than right. Your mind cannot focus on the joyful aspects of life; your kids, friends and family, good health, or whatever you treasure. Before you know it, stress dictates your decisions, and happiness takes a back seat to worry, fear, and anxiety. Not an excellent way to live—for you or the people who love and care for you.

It's time to increase your happiness factor!

While we know that proper diet and exercise, going to a therapist, taking vacations, being present in the moment, and all the other things that are good for us decrease stress, they all require life change. Today's happiness-inducing tips take seconds to minutes, and that's all. You can incorporate these little actions into your life without interrupting your day. These new habits are simple to attain yet powerful. Refrain from dismissing these little gems as too easy to be true and effective!

Happiness comes with a smile.

That's right. Endless research shows that the simple act of an ear-to-ear smile immediately impacts your state of mind. You see, a smile spurs a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing certain hormones, including dopamine and serotonin, the happiness hormones. When you smile, your brain automatically assumes something humorous is happening and responds accordingly. And here's more good news: your brain doesn't know if you're smiling because you genuinely feel happy or if you're pretending. That's right, fake it until you make it.

Does your brain come to life in the morning with stressful thoughts, dread, frustration, or fear? Interrupt that pattern with an ear-to-ear smile. Okay, it may feel goofy to lie in bed smiling at the ceiling, but I kid you not; it's extremely effective. Give it a try! And when you're ready to take things to the next level, find something to laugh about!

Increase happiness when you put a little vacation in every day.

I felt a sinking sensation during my corporate years before I got on the commuter train each morning. It was as though my life wasn't my own once I boarded that train. One day I realized that, between being a single mom and working a demanding job, I had very little of my own time, so of course, I dreaded going to work. So, I decided to change that feeling, even for only a few minutes a day.

I began leaving the house 20 minutes early (no small feat with stunt-loving toddler twins around), but I made it happen. I used that 20 minutes at my morning commute's front or back end. Sometimes, I stopped in the little coffee shop at the station and either laughed and chatted with the owners and other customers or took my coffee to a bench under a tree. There, I focused on the feel-good aspect of being alone; the sweet sound of the birds talking or whatever made my heart feel good.

Other times, I would go out of my way to walk along Lake Michigan to get to work. I would stop in the satellite department store near the train station downtown or browse in a bookshop—things I would do if I were on vacation.

Now, I work from home. I take frequent 5-minute breaks to gaze into my beautiful koi pond or even pull a few weeds (it's meditative!). I'll play with one of our pets or laugh over something silly with my daughters. Other times I'll stop in the middle of the day for something more time-consuming: a massage, a long walk in the woods, a pedicure, or a bit of retail therapy.

I refer to these mini breaks as my way to put a little vacation in every day. This time reminds you that you can escape the stress and daily demands to make yourself feel special and at peace. Make it a rule. Put a little vacation in each and every day!

Show some gratitude.

If a pill could simulate the effects of gratitude, everyone would be taking it. Again, there are countless studies on gratitude's mental and physical benefits. We know that feeling thankful can improve sleep, mood, and immunity. Gratitude can decrease depression, anxiety, chronic pain difficulties, and disease risk.

Gratitude and happiness go hand in hand. But I'm not talking about a robotic recital of a gratitude list. We're all (hopefully) grateful for the important and good things in our lives. Make your gratitude memorable with this simple practice.

Step one is to actively look for simple things that bring joy to your heart. This step requires intention and practice, but this gratitude practice will retrain your brain to focus on the good rather than the stressful stuff.

If you leave the house for an errand or a walk (Walk your dogs! It's a great break for both of you!), watch for the simple things that bring you a moment of pleasure: a beautiful flower, a sweet interaction between a parent and child, a pleasant smell in the air. These are simple pleasures you're looking for, nothing big and life-changing.

You get the idea. This exercise is a highly effective way to practice being present in the moment and teach your brain to seek happiness, not misery.

Step two in the gratitude exercise:

Spend just 5-minutes every night recording your moments of pleasure in a gratitude journal. No cheating! Again, this isn't about the things that you're grateful for; this is about seeking out simple reasons for happiness. You don't have to write a book; a basic sentence or two is perfect.

As you record these special moments, allow your heart to feel them all over again. Going to bed happy provides many benefits, including a more peaceful night's sleep.

Perform random acts of kindness.

I was checking out at Trader Joe's (one of my happy places) a couple of weeks ago. The cashier was a young woman who happily chatted with each customer and did her job joyfully. I don't recall the questions I asked her, but I learned that this happy woman worked three jobs! I asked when she found time for rest, and she responded, “Girl! I've got goals; the time for rest is later!” She went on to say that she loves all of her jobs and is saving so she has the financial means to make her dreams come true.

I was so taken with this magical personality that I went home, grabbed some cash, put it in an envelope with a little note, and returned to the store to give it to her. I told her it was my small way of contributing to her dreams. I can't get the image of her joyful spirit out of my mind. I'm still riding this roller coaster two weeks later.

Along with your gratitude practice, keep your eyes open for small ways to be there for someone else:

• Help someone put groceries in their car.
• Send an employee home early as a special treat.
• Show your appreciation to someone amazing.
• Put a little love note in your child's lunch.
• Surprise a friend by leaving flowers on their doorstep.

Get silly and move!

Just like a smile, shifting your physical state of stress invites your body and brain to feel good. What we call a state change in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) means to change your body radically – to move into a powerful state. Change your posture, facial expression, and breathing. Move to another room, or stand up and strike a Superman pose!

When I began public speaking, I was petrified. It was about more than just getting up on a stage but about creating a presentation powerful enough for an audience to appreciate and benefit from. My anxiety would put a freeze on my creativity. In fact, it crippled my brain! So, I put my knowledge to work. Here are a few of the exercises; they are simple (even goofy) yet effective.

When you're overwhelmed to the point of being frozen, shift to an empowering state to generate happiness and confidence.

Stand tall, and walk around the room while reciting empowering affirmations. Use a strong, confident voice and your hands and arms to accentuate the words. Here are some of the affirmations I used. Before long, I didn't need to do this exercise because I trained my brain to know I was confident, experienced, and strong.

Short and simple affirmations for happiness and confidence.

• I AM an expert!
• I bring value to my audience (or whatever you're doing)!
• I am a great entrepreneur!
• I have everything it takes to succeed at this!
• My voice is powerful and knowing!
• I am confident, capable, and wise!

Remember, use your body, exaggerate your movements, and emphasize key words in your affirmations.

Baby steps. That's all it takes to bring a bit of joy and happiness to your heart. Don't wait for success, don't think you have to make massive life changes. Keep it simple and do it now.

The post Happiness Matters. 5 Fast and Easy Ways to Increase Your Happiness Factor appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

So, here's the story.

Italy was, without a doubt, a trip of a lifetime; however, during the final week, I needed to step up my coping mechanisms to make a difficult adjustment. After three glorious weeks of taking in Italy's spectacular cities and countryside with my brother, Gary, and sister-in-law, Rose, I was excited to experience Rome. The Colosseum, the Forum, the Vatican, the Trevi Fountain, and so much more were awaiting; however, the Universe had different plans for me.

Setbacks happen.

On our final night in Sorrento before traveling to Rome, I sprained my ankle and injured my knee in a nasty fall. It could have been so much worse as I fell hard from the steps onto a marble landing. Still, it hurt like hell! It's a bad sprain, made worse by the knee injury on the opposite leg.

Different personality types respond to setbacks in different ways.

What do you think your initial reaction would've been if you were in my situation? Here's how it went for me.

Immediately after the fall, my initial questions were what most people would ask themselves. How bad is it? Can I move? In how many places am I injured? And then, how will I get up from down here?

After that, I moved on to thoughts similar to what you'd experience for an empathy-driven individual in this situation.

• Oh no, how awful for Gary and Rose to have seen me fall like that.
• Now their trip is going to be ruined.
• Gary had paid for the tours, and now I can't take them; what a waste of money.
• I'm going to slow them down, and I'll be a burden.
• What if I need medical care? That will ruin everything for them!
• I don't want them to worry about me on their vacation!

These fears were a lot to process, and I became overwhelmed and anxious. The fall and all these initial thoughts happened in less than a minute, and I quickly realized the need to access my coping skills, so on went the coach hat. (This was all before I even got off the ground!)

Once I was standing, with the help of my brother, I immediately acknowledged to myself that I was projecting. “If roles were reversed and I witnessed one of them experience a bad fall, would I be thinking about the remainder of my trip being ruined,” I asked myself. The answer was no. I would be deeply concerned for the injured person and think about what I could do to help them. With this shift in perspective, my panic receded, and I could focus on what I needed.

The lesson:

When a setback involves others, don't project. You have no idea how they are feeling or what their thoughts are, and there will be plenty of time to work out the details later. Take care of yourself first and ask for what you need.

Of course, this coach would have more opportunities to turn her skills inward. By the next morning, the pain and swelling worsened in the ankle and the knee. I was alone at the AirBnB and began worrying that I might need medical attention. Would my insurance cover it? Where would I go, and how would I get down the awful stairs lurking just outside the door? Would anyone speak English at the medical center? What would happen if I waited for medical care until I got home a week from now? If there's a fracture, will it be too late to treat it?

As you can see, the negative voices in my head were working overtime. My body became tense all over, and I felt highly agitated. That's when the coach voice took over and told me loud and clear that I was catastrophizing. I was less than a day in; of course, the injuries will get worse before they get better. “Give it time,” I told myself.

I used deep breathing methods to ground myself and shifted states by moving to a different room to distract myself with a bit of television. In addition, I used EFT to quiet the negative voices.

The lesson:

The human brain quickly goes down the path of catastrophic thinking, but your body will alert you when your worrisome brain goes into overdrive. You will experience things like anxiety, tenseness, stomach upset, and headaches. When you receive these signals, stop to ask yourself, “Do any of these manufactured predictions of the future need to be addressed immediately?” And “Do I know–for an absolute fact–that any of these awful things will happen?” The answers are: probably not and no.

In the subsequent phases of adjustment to my unfortunate reality, my brain changed directions, and I began to feel sorry for myself. Here I am, on my dream vacation, stuck in a small apartment with no view and a dangerous stairway. I would miss the spectacular pieces of ancient history I've waited a lifetime to see. I felt angry, sad, and lonely.

With my coach hat on again, I asked myself, “If you must stay in this room for several days, is this how you want to feel?” The answer was absolutely not. I could do nothing to change the situation, so how could I improve it?

I'll admit that even after I put some work into my mindset, some of the sadness remained, but the anger and grief were no longer amplified by it. It's natural to feel a bit sorry for yourself in such situations; I believe anyone would. But I would not let my feelings bring me down to the point of constant misery. So, I created goals and a plan. What entrepreneur doesn't feel better with goals and action steps in place?

First, practice gratitude.

I fell from the steps down onto the solid stone. I could have broken something or many somethings! I could have hit my head or fallen flat on my face. It could have been a truly catastrophic event. I am grateful that my injuries are relatively minor and will heal. I have two caring people with me who would look after me. I created a long list of “I'm really lucky” statements. Gratitude makes everything feel better!

Second, practice acceptance.

• I was in a disappointing situation and could not change it, but I could make the best of it, so I looked for the good.
• Gary and Rose would have some time alone in Rome. I'm sure that feels good to them.
• I brought my iPad, books, and iPhone. I could always find things to do, like writing this post while the facts and feelings were still fresh on my mind. (Although I didn't post it until I returned home.)
• I hadn't watched a movie in quite some time. Who gets to lay around in Rome and watch television? It's a new experience.

Third, expedite my healing.

I studied information online about healing a bad ankle sprain. Unfortunately, the apartment had no freezer, so there was no ice. Yet, ice is crucial to healing. I asked Gary and Rose to get those ice packs you snap to release a cold gel. Not ideal, but better than nothing.

I'd kept the ankle wrapped and elevated and put some magic Italian gel on it. I massaged it, and the knee, several times a day. On the third day, I began basic stretching and other exercises.

Last on the list: Set goals.

I know myself well. No matter what it took, I needed to leave the apartment after a full day inside. Once I got out for an hour or two, I could face another day inside if I continued to work at it. So, on the second morning, I met those challenging stairs with Gary's assistance. He and Rose then escorted me to a cafe where I began this article and sipped a delicious cappuccino while they painstakingly searched Rome for a cane. Later in the day, we took a short walk to a lovely historic restaurant and had a fun evening. I felt much better. On the third morning, I stayed at the Airbnb to rest my ankle, and that evening we attended our after-hours tour of the Vatican Museum and Sistine Chapel. It was a lot of walking and a ton of stairs, but I had a cane and a lot of determination, so I did it, and it was spectacular. A stoic guard even took mercy on me and invited us to ride in a secret elevator!

I continued to motivate myself by adjusting any negative thoughts to a positive mindset and spent my final two days in Italy seeing the sites. I walked miles a day on a badly sprained ankle and crooked cobblestone. It was slow but sure, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Having tools, creating processes, and fine-tuning your mindset can help you through a challenging setback. You don't have to be a professional coach to shape your negative thoughts into a positive vision and a plan to fit any situation. Use the following list as a guide to turn those sour lemons into delicious lemonade. (Oh, Italy has the best lemons, especially in Sorrento!)

• Be kind to yourself and avoid condemning your actions and choices.
• Acknowledge your feelings instead of pushing them down.
• Ask yourself questions like the ones I mentioned in this article.
• Pay attention when you're projecting or catastrophizing. Bring your thoughts back to reality.
• Figure out a plan to make the best of what you've got and to give yourself something to look forward to.
• Use this article as a template you can customize to your needs!

Two weeks after returning home, I don't reflect on a trip ruined by a sprained ankle. I look back at a dream come true and the beauty and richness of Italy. I remember being on the Mediterranean and dining in family-owned restaurants with a plate of homemade pasta and freshly caught shellfish. I think of the memories we created and spending precious time with two people I love. The ankle incident proved my strength and my family member's patience and kindness.

Do I wish the fall had never happened? Of course, I do; the darn ankle still stings, but I also feel proud of the coping mechanisms I put to work. The beautiful memories will far outlast the discomfort and inconvenience of what could have been a far worse incident. And, as my brother says, now I have a story to tell!

The post Here’s How I Just Changed a Shocking Experience to a Manageable Setback appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

When your time belongs to something else—work, parenting, caregiving, your business—it can seem you’re trapped inside someone else’s agenda. Entrepreneurs easily fall into this cycle, sacrificing themselves and their time to long-term goals and the needs of others. If you’re not careful, the daily stress of giving yourself away diminishes any sense of self and well-being.

I recall my twenty-plus years of working in corporate: a fifteen-minute drive to the train, a forty-minute train ride into the city, then a brisk twenty-minute walk from Chicago’s Union Station to work. The commute was filled with paperwork and scheduling so I could lessen the load before a hectic 8 to 10 hours in the local news world. At last, I followed the routine of my reverse commute home to my kids for the few short hours we had together.

I loved my job, and being a mom, but what I didn’t love was the feeling of being lost inside the mechanics of every task-filled day. I rarely stilled my mind to capture the most important moments in life or to create a space that felt like mine because I belonged to everyone else. I never stopped to realize that I was lost, that there was something inside of me that felt unsatisfied—until one early morning when I missed my train, which left me with a rare twenty minutes to do nothing.

I felt nearly giddy with the anticipation of a precious few silent moments to myself. I randomly strolled across to a little coffee house where patrons cheerfully bantered with the fun-loving proprietors while waiting for their lattes and mochas. “Oh my! A cinnamon scone,” I thought. “Dare I? Oh sure, it was a special day.”

A special day? Why? It hit me then that treating myself to a few laughs with strangers, a fresh cup of coffee, and a cinnamon scone filled me with giddy anticipation of the next moment and the next. I took my warm coffee and scone to a park bench and savored them, along with the joy that filled my heart as I noticed, for the first time, the beautiful fall colors that had begun to tinge the leaves of the old oaks. “I feel like I’m on vacation,” I thought blissfully. I went to work that day with more emotional and physical energy than I’d had in a while, with a bit more spirit in my step.

That evening I journaled about my mini-vacation experience, and I found it so meaningful that it was decided, then and there, that I would “put a little vacation in every day.”

Put a little vacation in every day.

So, what does that really mean? Missing your train or a meeting, so you can sit idly in a park warming your hands on a cup of joe? What if it wasn’t that random? What if, without sacrifice, you could escape the everyday demands to capture time for yourself? To connect with yourself and your surroundings in a way that eludes you on a typical day? To stop and smell the roses, as they say.

It sounds like too little to mean a lot.

Too good to be true? You may ask, how can five or ten minutes make a difference in how I feel? What might this do for your well-being, health, and spirit?

1. Let’s look at the more practical side of this concept first. Research tells us that taking purposeful breaks (anywhere from 5–60 minutes) to refresh your brain and body increases your energy, productivity, and ability to focus. This is especially true during periods of intense concentration, like study and work projects. Short breaks will give you more time to do other things, making you more efficient and accurate.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, let’s look at the more meaningful side of taking your little vacation breaks.

2. Purposeful mini-breaks can change the way you think. This is what I call, Bullshift™.

When we don’t have time to ourselves to just “be,” much of life’s more meaningful content gets swept under the rug. We neglect to find gratitude and appreciation for the good stuff and tend to focus on the more stressful aspects of our day-to-day life. Your mind is like your body, it becomes what you feed it. We must nourish our brains with positive thoughts, intent, and beliefs to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilled life.

When you take yourself away from the hustle for a few minutes spend that time finding the good: breathe deeply, look for something beautiful in your surroundings, notice the feel and scent of the air, savor the taste of something delicious, or observe an exchange between happy individuals. These simple actions will reinforce new neural pathways in your brain that eventually become automatic. Translation: You are teaching your brain to default to a positive attitude!

A little vacation in every day has become second nature to me, and I hope it does for you as well. Negativity is exhausting! Life is more fulfilling and hopeful when we can teach our brains to find the positive, even during difficult times. Rather than allowing daily demands to deplete you, capture something special in your day to make it yours because you deserve it!

The post How About 365 Vacations This Year? Here’s How–and Why appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Here's why I ask.

We sometimes dislike or become frustrated by aspects of whom we appear to be–or whom we judge ourselves to be–but these qualities aren't always as they appear.

For instance, I've had clients who are very sensitive and empathetic. As a result, they tend to take things personally. They will take on others' problems as their own and procrastinate on essential tasks, either because they worry too much or because they are busy tending to the needs of another.

These sensitive, empathetic qualities can nearly cripple business owners and their business growth when they display as weaknesses. Suppose this individual gets caught up in their fear of being too vulnerable, pleasing everyone, failing, and never being good enough. In that case, they won't take the emotional risks associated with a successful business. That takes a backseat to the fact that they are too busy and exhausted by their emotions to act on these risks.

Another example is the entrepreneur who strives for perfection, so they claim no one can do things right. They pick at every detail to the point of going overboard. Subsequently, this individual engages in self-criticism and frustration because they get nothing of significant value done. The lack of delegation and trust are blinders that keep this entrepreneur from seeing the talents and strengths that others bring to the table.

The flipside to our strengths and weaknesses.

People don't often realize that our weaknesses are often the flip side of our strengths. The very things that hold us back are aspects of a strength that is undervalued or overused. Individuals who are sensitive and empathetic often have the gift of creativity. They can see things that others don't notice. They are curious, so they explore the possibilities missed by others. Creative individuals can diffuse tension and relate well to others. They often make great bosses because of these abilities, and coupled with an innovative mind, they make outstanding entrepreneurs.

Perfectionism, when appearing as a positive quality, allows an individual to pay attention to the smallest detail and see errors and ideas that others won't. They are ambitious and can motivate others. Perfectionists at their best strive to be the best version of themselves and are often envied for their drive and success.

The shadow side of our strengths.

The examples are endless because we all have this “shadow” side of our strengths. When our positive qualities are misdirected or go into overdrive, they shift to the shadow side and become painful and self-defeating.

Imagine a spectrum that is black at one end and white at the other. Our strengths at their best lean toward the white end; our strengths' shadows, or weaknesses, are at the dark end. As you can imagine, many of these personal assets float around somewhere in between the white and black ends of the spectrum, depending on whether we leverage them well or overuse or ignore them.

Understanding this helps us to realize we have choices.

The shadow is not who we are or what defines us. When the shadow takes over, we can flip it around to lean into our strengths and shift our perspective. How do you do that?

Begin by identifying the shadow side of your strengths.

For some, it's easier to identify the flipside of their weaknesses, rather than their strengths. Then try these ideas to nudge your shadows up the spectrum toward being strengths.

Don't hate your shadow.

Your shadow is simply a side of you that you don't see in a helpful, positive light. Resistance, such as frustration or pushing something away, only makes life more challenging. When we allow all aspects of ourselves to be recognized and worked with, we shift from resistance to allowing, which is a much less stressful way of living.

Embrace your strengths!

The shadows that don't serve you have a flip side that makes you an exceptional human being. Focus on those parts of who you are. Journal about what makes you successful (at anything), happy, and healthy.

Celebrate your successes.

We often deny our strengths and make excuses for why we can't be better. Push away the “yeah but” tendencies and celebrate even the most minor success. When I point out a win to some of my clients, they predictably say, “yeah, but (add criticism here). The more you recognize and celebrate, the more you believe in yourself.

Don't let someone steal your internal locus of control.

If you feel happy about a situation, don't let someone else's viewpoint or actions steal your joy. Put your reaction in a box and come back to it later if you must. Your qualities, perseverance, and talents are responsible for your success; no one can take that from you. Don't, for instance, let a reaction from one client affect how you work with the next one. Maintain your confidence.

Live less in the shadow.

When your strengths are in overdrive, and your actions are not productive and helpful, stop to recognize what you're doing. Take a deep breath and ask yourself how to elevate your talent or quality to live in or closer to the white. If you're being overly perfectionistic to the point of generating stress, get real with yourself. What is perfect to you may be flawed to another, so there is no such thing as perfect.

Choose your reactions and actions intentionally.

Make a different choice than being victim to the less productive end of the spectrum (the shadow). When something upsets you, do your best to be optimistic instead of going into an anxious, “what if” response. When the shadow is at work you may get caught up in catastrophizing the situation. Be careful of exaggerating the impact of any problems that arise. Understanding that you can choose your behavior is empowering so put more intention into your thoughts and actions.

B!tch slap anxiety.

Yes, you read that right. Be kind and understanding of feelings like fear and worry. On the flip side, you want to be firm with your anxiety. Anxiety is not a feeling; it's a hard-wired physical reaction to your mind's response to something. Tell your anxiety to take a hike, take a deep breath, and talk to yourself or journal about your concerns and worries. Choose. healthy distraction from your anxiety. Leverage your strengths in every situation.

The post Stuck? In Your Own Way? This Is Important for You to Know appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Successful entrepreneurs see a direct correlation between the level of their success and the amount of work they've invested into a positive mindset.

Any thriving entrepreneur will tell you that personal development is paramount to success, but one component often gets overlooked in translation. No personal development regiment is complete without the ongoing development of a positive mindset.

Is “mindset” just a buzzword?

The word, mindset, is being used more often, not because it's a fad or phase, but because people are becoming increasingly aware of its importance. New studies in neuroscience continue to produce consistent evidence of the power of a positive mindset.

What exactly is mindset?

You possess a collection of thoughts and beliefs based on your unique life experiences. Some of them benefit you and support the likelihood of success, and many probably don't. These beliefs shape your thought habits and, therefore, your actions. They affect your energy levels and the way you feel in general. Your unique beliefs dictate how you view others, the world, and your future. Mindset is a big deal for everyone, but for entrepreneurs, mindset is everything.

I find that until an entrepreneur develops a positive, healthy, supportive mindset, they will not achieve their ultimate goals in life and business. A negative mindset never leads to success and happiness.

Successful entrepreneurs invest in their mindset.

The founder of the multi-billion-dollar company, Spanx, credits her success to the power of mindset development.

Blakely is not alone; successful entrepreneurs, in general, invest in themselves and habitually observe their thought patterns and related actions.

Build a foundation for a healthy, supportive mindset.

I've identified these 4 opportunities to Bullshift™ into a healthy mindset.

1. Resolve past hurts.

Carrying the burden of anger, resentment, pain, and/or a victim mentality weighs us down emotionally and physically. It depletes our energy and supports negative beliefs about others and the world in general. If you find yourself thinking and talking about life events that hurt you, you are perpetuating the painful effects of the incident. This cycle uses up more energy than you may believe–energy that could be applied to your business and happiness.

It's often difficult to let go of negative memories and the beliefs associated with them, let alone forgive those involved. If you are holding on to something from the past, work with a coach or therapist to resolve it.

2. Think positive thoughts.

Psychologist Rick Hansen, Ph.D., says that “negative events and experiences get quickly stored in memory, in contrast to positive events and experiences. Positive events usually need to be held in your awareness for a dozen (or more) seconds to transfer them from short-term memory buffers to long-term storage.” We have a cognitive bias toward failure and negativity, so it's natural to hold on to negative thoughts. We must put effort into positive thinking.

Positivity is a precursor to success, whereas negative thoughts narrow your mind and push you to hyper-focus on negativity. Positivity broadens your sense of possibility and opens your eyes and mind to the opportunities, ideas, and options that will support your success. This study, published by positive psychology researcher, Barbara Fredrickson, is only one of many that support these findings.

3. Believe in yourself.

Athletes frequently break records once believed to represent the limits of the human body. To achieve this, they must believe in themselves one hundred percent. Can an inventor build something that they do not believe in? No, they must believe in their project and their ability to bring it to fruition.

The practice of visualization is one of the most powerful means to raise your confidence and embed a stronger, more supportive belief system around success. If you spend only 20-seconds to a few minutes a day visualizing and, most importantly, feeling your success, it will make a remarkable difference in your life.

4. Be grateful.

Since it takes more effort to store positive experiences in our long-term memory, it's common for entrepreneurs to focus on what they have not done rather than their achievements. Flip that around by keeping a list of positive accomplishments, large and small. Also, add at least three things a day worthy of your gratitude. Avoid the “ya but” that you may tend to add after thinking or talking about a positive step you've made:

“Today, I crossed three things off my list.” (Feeling grateful.)
“Ya, but four more things got piled on.” (Feeling defeated.)

Celebrate even the most minor wins, and you'll experience many more victories. The benefits related to intentional gratitude are many. Here's a great resource, written by psychotherapist and Psychology Today author Amy Morin.

To Bullshift your way into a positive mindset takes an investment of time, persistence, dedication, and sometimes money. However, the time and effort spent on an empowering mindset offer the best ROI you'll ever experience.

The post 4 Steps to Bullshift Your Way Into a Positive Mindset for Success appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Not everyone has what it takes to think and act in a way that will grow a business to multiple six or seven figures. Things like a low-risk tolerance, lack of confidence, and an inability to think beyond their problems keep many entrepreneurs on the hamster wheel of struggle and sweat.

Some of the necessary qualities and skills needed to successfully grow a business can be learned. You must be willing to change and take action. It takes determination, confidence, and commitment, but the intrinsic and tangible rewards are well worth the investment of time and energy.

Million-dollar business owners have a vision with long-term goals in place.

A vision is a dream you aspire to. It consists of three elements:

1. Core values.
2. Core purpose.
3. Visionary goals.

It's best to create your vision statement through soul-searching and an eye to the future, not a few corny sentences that no one identifies with. It is the cornerstone of your company's future, including your plan, strategy, culture, and goals.

Million-dollar business owners plan for challenges and view them as an opportunity.

I work with an entrepreneur who suspected that President Trump would impose tariffs on Chinese imports long before it happened. He left his factory in China and moved production to other countries. The entire transition took just under two years, so it was a costly risk, but he's still in business because of it.

Never make the mistake of thinking things will remain the same because they never do. Your company could become extinct tomorrow, so know your business's vulnerabilities and continue to evolve as conditions change–because they will.

People with million-dollar business potential take responsibility.

Your employees make mistakes, market conditions change, customers quit, and vendors don't deliver on time. None of these scenarios is your fault, but a solid leader takes responsibility and acts to resolve issues immediately, without finger-pointing or blame. They view every problem as an opportunity to improve and develop.

Million-dollar business owners thirst for information and personal growth.

Many of my high 6 and 7-figure clients, and those who will be someday, wake up extra early to read or take in educational and inspirational media. Some add things like meditation, journaling, and physical exercise to the mix. Successful entrepreneurs don't use the “there are only 24-hours in a day” excuse. Mentally downloading useful information is fulfilling and can help you be more focused and productive, which means that 24 hours is plenty.

Successful small business owners take risks.

Savvy businesspeople calculate their risk/reward ratio as a predictor of return on investment. They also engage their intuition or gut feelings when making risky decisions. As you contemplate your next move, allow experience and wisdom to guide you toward your answers rather than acting hastily.

Millionaires wear wings.

Maintaining a bird's eye view of your company, environment, and the future takes a special kind of person. Millionaires are big thinkers and don't get caught up in the day-to-day operations any more than necessary. Keep your eye on your purpose and vision, remain focused on the goals, and imagine yourself donning a beautiful set of wings to keep you out of the weeds.

Big thinkers don't chase bright and shiny objects.

These business owners plan their next moves and stay on track, while less successful entrepreneurs complain they can't remain focused. There are two main reasons for lack of focus: little or no clarity, which causes them to go off-track, and too much involvement in operations. Creative minds need to remain focused but find new ideas fascinating. This fascination can generate tangents that delay or prevent success. This is where your vision, values, and long-term goals play an important role. Before pursuing a new idea, confirm that it fits nicely into your plan and that you're ready for it.

Millionaires respect money.

We all know people who spend money faster than they make it, and most of them are not millionaires. People who possess a millionaire mindset don't spend large amounts of money as it comes in. I've seen entrepreneurs do things like move into expensive offices and purchase luxury cars much too soon, only to end up losing them. I believe in celebrating as growth occurs but avoid being extravagant. Save the big spending for when you have a proven, replicable business model and money in the bank.

You're more likely to become one if you think like a millionaire. To become a successful leader:

1. Change your habits one at a time.
2. Be contemplative and evaluate your actions.
3. Create a plan for personal growth because your mindset determines your level of success.

Successful business owners have coaches and mentors.

Most of my new clients are making money and need the clarity, confidence, and support to build substantial growth. In one recent experience, my client began her coaching experience as a solopreneur with two part-time employees and annual sales of about one-hundred-thousand.  She broke the million-dollar mark in about one year and fourteen months later she is very near four million. She grew her team to fifteen talented people.

In another example, my client had a long-standing dream of authoring a much-needed book addressing her niche, but it was only a dream. Seven months into her coaching experience the book is on its way to the publisher! She is already well-known in her industry with high-profile connections and a powerful social media presence. I have no doubt that she will quickly meet her financial goals.

Success is measured in many different ways but always involves a dream. What's your dream? A great business coach will help you make your dream a reality.

The post Want to Become a Million-Dollar Business Owner? See If You’ve Got What It Takes appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Why is intuition important?

Intuition is a type of intelligence, not a woo-woo state of being. In fact, researchers are paying much more attention to intuition\ and many say it’s the most important kind of intelligence. People from all walks of life, including famous leaders, scientists, and inventors are known to make their decisions based on intuitive hits or while daydreaming. They take risks that don’t necessarily make sense on paper, but their intuition drives them to do it anyway.

Does everyone have strong intuition?

People who are logical thinkers may not be as adept at using their intuitive processing. The brain thinks by using two different and distinct processes. In one, the brain works through information slowly and deliberately; this is analytical thinking. In the other, the brain draws on patterns from our past experiences and the current environment to make quick decisions. This is where the intuitive process lives and operates. Your intuition may be difficult to detect because you are relying on just one of your brain’s operating systems. The two hemispheres of our brain (left/right) work together in harmony, but signals from one can be much stronger than the other at times.

Intuition is often drowned out by a lack of confidence and your bully, B.S. voice.

Another reason you may not easily tune into intuition is that your intuitive voice is usually small and gentle, whereas the bullying voice in your head is intrusive and noisy. Intuitive thoughts are quiet and usually fleeting; intruding thoughts are loud and often nagging.

The nature of negative thinking makes it more difficult to hear and believe in your intuitive thoughts.

When your confidence is lacking, this overbearing voice can drown out your intuitive voice. We need to tell those thoughts to sit in a corner so we can listen for something gentler. Intuitive thoughts induce a calming feeling of knowing or understanding. They feel good or right while intrusive thoughts feel overwhelming and anxiety-provoking, or depressing. This is one of the best ways of telling them apart.

Do your B.S. thoughts get in the way of your success and happiness? My Group Coaching Series might be right for you! I call it BullShift!

Learn more about Bullshift Group Coaching now!

Can everyone tap into their intuition?

I believe this is a question that’s gone unanswered. However, I believe that intuition is like a muscle and simply needs to be exercised. For most of my life, I’ve been studying my inner voice and I see every life challenge as a playground for improving my mindset. Intuition plays an important role in that. This is certainly something that anyone can do, it just takes time and tons of curiosity. That’s why I make it a playful process.

Play games to increase your intuitive awareness.

• I love being playful with my intuition. I’ll use a deck of cards to try to “predict” which card I’ll pull next. I remain general, looking for a color (hearts or diamonds versus spades and clubs) or I’ll think about the face cards (the king, queen, and jack) as a separate set from the numbered cards. You’ll be amazed at how often you are correct after you learn which voice to listen to. Sometimes when I’m really feeling in tune, I’ll get more specific and “ask” for a certain card.  I mostly do this when I play Solitaire. I’m telling you, it works!
• When I get a “hit” like to call or text so-and-so, I always listen. Most of the time they will say, “I was just thinking of you!” There have been many times when they’ve told me something significant has just occurred and that it's amazing that I called in that moment.
• When I need to make an important decision, I close my eyes and think about my choices one at a time. While I’m focused on each choice I tune into my body, not my brain. Usually, our bodies know (and will communicate) what’s right for us. I refer to my intuition as “a seed of knowing”. That’s how it feels; a seed floats gently into my heart and/or gut and I know—without a single doubt—that things will turn out exactly as they are meant to be and for my highest good. (It’s not up to us to judge what the highest good is. We don’t have access to that information.)

These are only a few of the fun ways to play with your intuition. Get creative and practice often. Your confidence will soar, success will increase, and you will feel much happier.

The post Intuition Is Intelligence, Not WooWoo. Here’s How to Tap Into Yours appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

“But Marla,” you might say, “Isn't it a bit self-centered and a waste of time to celebrate the small stuff? Anyone can do these things.”

Nope, none of that is true.

If you work hard, never pausing to acknowledge the completion of your goals and other small wins, you are missing out on an opportunity to increase your productivity, mood, and energy levels. Let me make my point:

Which of these two entrepreneurs is more likely to succeed?

1. The entrepreneur who takes time out of the day to reflect, appreciate, and share his or her achievements.
2. The entrepreneur who dismisses small wins because, after all, the little stuff completes only a portion piece of the big picture–there's so much more to do.

You guessed it: number one, the latter will burnout. Entrepreneurs who don't celebrate themselves and their achievements tend to get depressed and negativity becomes omnipresent. Productive actions are overridden by meaningless time-suckers as they lose focus. Acknowledgment of your achievements helps to keep the focus and momentum. And, it will help you to feel good about yourself.

High-performance entrepreneurs don’t wait for milestone achievements to celebrate.

Think about the parent whose young child takes his first steps. Does the parent hold off on joyfully acknowledging him until he has walked his first mile? No, because one small step is a milestone. The family claps, laughs, encourages him, and tells everyone the exciting news. This reinforces the child's commitment to walking and lets him know that he's achieved something notable. It inspires and motivates him to do it again, even though it's likely that he's going to fall down quite a bit.

The acknowledgment of small accomplishments motivates and inspires us, and it also relieves stress. As big breakthroughs happen, they merit a celebration that is commensurate to their significance, but how often do these breakthroughs come along? It takes many small wins to add up to a milestone. If you neglect to acknowledge your productivity at all levels it may have a negative impact on your energy, attitude, and productivity, therefore your business.

Celebration and acknowledgment change your physiology.

Try this experiment:

Spend ten seconds thinking about all of the hard work you have to do. Feel the pressure mounting. Now notice your posture, is it strong and upright or slumped? Take note of how your body feels. Do you feel stressed out? How productive can you possibly be under these conditions?

Now, spend ten seconds mentally reviewing the things that you achieved over the past week, or month. Mindfully highlight the tasks that are off your plate and acknowledge how good it feels now that they're done. Give yourself a pat on the back. Now how do you feel? You're more likely to charge into your next steps with a good attitude and higher energy.

When we focus on the good stuff it sparks the reward circuitry of our brains. This causes a chain reaction as the brain releases chemicals that stimulate feelings of pride, excitement, and happiness. It makes us want to dig deeper into our next achievement.

Celebrations come in all shapes and sizes.

You complete a small project and it feels nice to finally have it done, but there's another project that needs your attention. Who has time to celebrate?

A celebration of achievement doesn't necessarily mean a party or treating yourself to a day off. Here are a few ways to acknowledge and appreciate your amazingness.

How to celebrate your small wins and productivity.

• At the end of your day spend five to ten minutes reviewing everything you've completed from your list. Most likely, many of the things you've done weren't even on your list so add them and flag them as complete. A visual of your accomplishments is very rewarding and will lend to a greater appreciation of your achievements.
• Tell someone who understands the significance of small steps. Positive auditory feedback, along with a few verbal pats on the back, gives us a mini rush that helps buoy our motivation, therefore increasing productivity.
• Let your mind wander to future images of your success. Painting this uplifting image will help your subconscious mind communicate your desires to the brain. This is important since a well-informed brain opens your eyes to opportunities and ideas that help get you what you want.
• Acknowledge your wins by doing something a little different. I have a theory that we all need to put a little vacation in each and every day. This stimulates the brain's reward center, helps us to celebrate our freedom as an entrepreneur, and energizes us.
• Express gratitude for your achievements. Gratitude has a strong impact on your mind and body.
• Thank those who contributed to your wins and spend a bit of time to think about the skills, commitment, and endurance it takes to achieve your goals.

You really do rock, ya know? Now, close your eyes, put a smile on your face, and count your blessings!

The post Productivity Increases When Entrepreneurs Celebrate Small Wins appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

The Universe delivered, mostly. I guess I wasn’t specific enough in my weather-related request. I got my sunny, 50-degree day, but with winds that made it feel more like a chilly 35.

Still, from the inside of my home, I was able to enjoy the warm caress of the sun all afternoon long. It turned out to be a lovely birthday, with friends who stood on my front lawn bearing gifts of flowers, balloons, sweet local honey, and a delicious dinner.

Soon after my birthday, along came a rainy, windy, cold Mother’s Day. Ok, I have some mad mindset skills, but come on. Two special days, only a couple weeks apart, that I (along with many other moms of adult children) would spend cooped up and alone? Really?

Again, I shifted my mindset and felt fine about “celebrating” the day all by myself. Or, at least I thought so.

It wasn’t until dinner time on Mother’s Day (I made a delicious lasagna and salad) that the loneliness set in. I decided to voice text my daughter and as I began to speak my voice broke. As though some unknown force took over my emotions, a torrent of tears flooded my eyes, ending up in a mushy mess of mascara that ran down my burning cheeks. What the heck? I seriously didn’t know how much emotion I had suppressed. I cried, tapped, and let it out for a few minutes and then I was fine. Thank you, EFT!

There was something to learn from this sudden outburst of emotion, so I did a little internal exploration. Sure enough, a mild Ah-Ha moment came along as I thought about the nature of stress and its effects on the mind.

When the reality of a pandemic hit this country, we were all thrown into a state of acute stress. This is when the survival instinct kicks in because of what our brain believes is an immediate threat to our safety. Extreme reactions are involved, (thus the toilet paper rampage) including heightened anxiety about where we’ve been and who we’ve been exposed to. Will everyone we love survive this virus? Will the world ever be the same? Am I already infected?

Since that initial shock, most of us have transitioned from acute stress to the chronic stress phase: fewer extreme responses, but consistent underlying tension. Most of us know about the physical toll this can take on our bodies, but you may not be quite as aware of the mental toll. Chronic stress can cause certain physical and emotional responses that seem to come out of left field, like what happened to me on Mother’s Day. When symptoms of stress display themselves, it can be confusing.

Acknowledge your chronic stress.

Just last week one of my clients told me that since he’s healthy and his income has remained unaffected, he had no right to complain. Was he right to feel guilt and shame for being down?

Not at all. He has every right to his feelings. We all need to put a voice to our fears.

• No matter how well you’re doing under our current circumstances, your world has changed. Like the rest of us, you have no way of predicting if and when life as you know it will be restored.

Repeat after me: “Of course, I am stressed!”

• Tell your mind and body that it’s ok that you’re not at 100 percent right now. The fact that others are worse off than you are should not diminish your concerns and fears.  To remain healthy, everyone needs to access and experience their unhappy emotions.
• Let go of any guilt or resistance to experiencing whatever it is that you feel. Spend time taking care of yourself during your trek into unchartered territory.
• Most of the world has slowed down, so it’s ok to lower your expectations for a little while. Take breaks. Go for a bike ride or take a walk in the middle of the day. As a result, you'll feel better and be more productive.
• Add some nurturing activities to your day. Listen to a guided meditation at bedtime. Keep a journal to help you explore your thoughts and stress responses.

As they say, we are in this together, and in many ways that’s true. People around the entire globe are experiencing a life that's much different than they could have ever predicted. The inability to concentrate, sleepless nights, fatigue, and everything from sadness to anger are all a part of being human and “in this together.”

The post In the Words of Pink, It Hurts to be Human (During a Pandemic) appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

You started your business because you had a vision, right? Yet, how often do you spend time feeling excited by your vision? Do you actually visualize the outcome of your hard work, or do you get stuck in the “hard work” mentality, leaving the idea of success lost somewhere in your fantasy of the future? By equipping yourself with mindset-enhancing tools, you will not only measure success differently, but your real-time achievements will become more and more impressive and satisfying.

A recent survey revealed that, among respondents, one in five successful entrepreneurs used vision boards in the business building process. In fact, 91 percent of them attribute their current (strong) financial position to having envisioned a plan to get there. These are smart entrepreneurs!

So, can you do it as well? Of course, you can! Here’s the thing—it’s simple! That’s good and not so good because it’s so simple that people tend to break the habit of visualizing daily or don’t do it at all. It may be difficult for them to believe anything that lacks complexity could be so powerful.

I have a confession to make.

Visualization makes up most of my marketing plan. Yup, you heard me right. Of course, I market, but I visualize more. And here’s a great example of what happens when I do.

Two days ago, I was working with a client to help her grasp the concept of visualization to create strong and positive emotions about success. You see, the level of feeling that goes into your visualization produces the magic. More on that later.

I got so wrapped up in the conversation with my client that I felt the familiar surge of joy that I associate with onboarding a new client. I never focus on the money or any other self-serving aspect of working with a new entrepreneur. I focus all my attention on the joy of knowing that I can help them achieve their dreams and what that means to them. The feelings are powerful and profound.

After our session, I checked my email only to find a consultation request from a new prospect. Smiling at the wonder of it all, I picked up the phone, and he made the time to speak with me on the spot. It was a ten-minute conversation, and he became my next new client.

That is how powerful the visualization process can be. This isn’t voodoo magic. The energy I generated in my client call helped me listen intently, say just the right things (meaningfully, of course), and radiate the energy that helped my soon-to-be client feel the synergy.

What about the vision board?

As you may notice, no vision board was involved in my manifestation experience. Many people don’t know that the pictures on a vision board are only a means to an end. Images are tools to help you tap into feelings like excitement, joy, happiness, and feelings associated with self-empowerment. Once you practice with your vision board on a regular basis, you may be able to achieve a high-level vibration without the support of a board. That’s what happened in my client call.

Now let’s get a touch nerdy about the subject. Ha!

Why do vision boards work?

Your brain is malleable and trainable; it can even rewire itself. This remarkable capacity is referred to as neuroplasticity, and it allows you to train your brain for success. Visualization is one of the most powerful and efficient ways to do this.

The rewiring process harnesses two key components: mirror neurons and neural resonance. Mirror neurons are vital to the learning process and planning of our actions, as well as understanding the intentions behind them. Neural resonance is involved in focus and problem-solving. Visualization can help us to rewire our brains resulting in greater access to ideas, solutions, and motivation.

The selective attention involved during visualization imprints essential things on the part of your brain that filters out unnecessary information and focuses instead on information that's relevant. Your brain becomes laser-focused on your goals and introduces you to what you need to make them happen. This is what we call The Law of Attraction at work. Sometimes it feels like opportunities and abundance come from nowhere, but now you can see the science behind it. However, let’s not negate the fact that good stuff happens all on its own too.

The post Entrepreneurs Who Use Vision Boards are More Likely to Achieve Success appeared first on Marla Tabaka.