We know that stress builds upon stress. The longer you allow stress to run your thoughts, actions, and behaviors, the more it becomes your default setting. You wake up in the morning, and your brain instantly searches for what is wrong in your life rather than right. Your mind cannot focus on the joyful aspects of life; your kids, friends and family, good health, or whatever you treasure. Before you know it, stress dictates your decisions, and happiness takes a back seat to worry, fear, and anxiety. Not an excellent way to live—for you or the people who love and care for you.

It's time to increase your happiness factor!

While we know that proper diet and exercise, going to a therapist, taking vacations, being present in the moment, and all the other things that are good for us decrease stress, they all require life change. Today's happiness-inducing tips take seconds to minutes, and that's all. You can incorporate these little actions into your life without interrupting your day. These new habits are simple to attain yet powerful. Refrain from dismissing these little gems as too easy to be true and effective!

Happiness comes with a smile.

That's right. Endless research shows that the simple act of an ear-to-ear smile immediately impacts your state of mind. You see, a smile spurs a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing certain hormones, including dopamine and serotonin, the happiness hormones. When you smile, your brain automatically assumes something humorous is happening and responds accordingly. And here's more good news: your brain doesn't know if you're smiling because you genuinely feel happy or if you're pretending. That's right, fake it until you make it.

Does your brain come to life in the morning with stressful thoughts, dread, frustration, or fear? Interrupt that pattern with an ear-to-ear smile. Okay, it may feel goofy to lie in bed smiling at the ceiling, but I kid you not; it's extremely effective. Give it a try! And when you're ready to take things to the next level, find something to laugh about!

Increase happiness when you put a little vacation in every day.

I felt a sinking sensation during my corporate years before I got on the commuter train each morning. It was as though my life wasn't my own once I boarded that train. One day I realized that, between being a single mom and working a demanding job, I had very little of my own time, so of course, I dreaded going to work. So, I decided to change that feeling, even for only a few minutes a day.

I began leaving the house 20 minutes early (no small feat with stunt-loving toddler twins around), but I made it happen. I used that 20 minutes at my morning commute's front or back end. Sometimes, I stopped in the little coffee shop at the station and either laughed and chatted with the owners and other customers or took my coffee to a bench under a tree. There, I focused on the feel-good aspect of being alone; the sweet sound of the birds talking or whatever made my heart feel good.

Other times, I would go out of my way to walk along Lake Michigan to get to work. I would stop in the satellite department store near the train station downtown or browse in a bookshop—things I would do if I were on vacation.

Now, I work from home. I take frequent 5-minute breaks to gaze into my beautiful koi pond or even pull a few weeds (it's meditative!). I'll play with one of our pets or laugh over something silly with my daughters. Other times I'll stop in the middle of the day for something more time-consuming: a massage, a long walk in the woods, a pedicure, or a bit of retail therapy.

I refer to these mini breaks as my way to put a little vacation in every day. This time reminds you that you can escape the stress and daily demands to make yourself feel special and at peace. Make it a rule. Put a little vacation in each and every day!

Show some gratitude.

If a pill could simulate the effects of gratitude, everyone would be taking it. Again, there are countless studies on gratitude's mental and physical benefits. We know that feeling thankful can improve sleep, mood, and immunity. Gratitude can decrease depression, anxiety, chronic pain difficulties, and disease risk.

Gratitude and happiness go hand in hand. But I'm not talking about a robotic recital of a gratitude list. We're all (hopefully) grateful for the important and good things in our lives. Make your gratitude memorable with this simple practice.

Step one is to actively look for simple things that bring joy to your heart. This step requires intention and practice, but this gratitude practice will retrain your brain to focus on the good rather than the stressful stuff.

If you leave the house for an errand or a walk (Walk your dogs! It's a great break for both of you!), watch for the simple things that bring you a moment of pleasure: a beautiful flower, a sweet interaction between a parent and child, a pleasant smell in the air. These are simple pleasures you're looking for, nothing big and life-changing.

You get the idea. This exercise is a highly effective way to practice being present in the moment and teach your brain to seek happiness, not misery.

Step two in the gratitude exercise:

Spend just 5-minutes every night recording your moments of pleasure in a gratitude journal. No cheating! Again, this isn't about the things that you're grateful for; this is about seeking out simple reasons for happiness. You don't have to write a book; a basic sentence or two is perfect.

As you record these special moments, allow your heart to feel them all over again. Going to bed happy provides many benefits, including a more peaceful night's sleep.

Perform random acts of kindness.

I was checking out at Trader Joe's (one of my happy places) a couple of weeks ago. The cashier was a young woman who happily chatted with each customer and did her job joyfully. I don't recall the questions I asked her, but I learned that this happy woman worked three jobs! I asked when she found time for rest, and she responded, “Girl! I've got goals; the time for rest is later!” She went on to say that she loves all of her jobs and is saving so she has the financial means to make her dreams come true.

I was so taken with this magical personality that I went home, grabbed some cash, put it in an envelope with a little note, and returned to the store to give it to her. I told her it was my small way of contributing to her dreams. I can't get the image of her joyful spirit out of my mind. I'm still riding this roller coaster two weeks later.

Along with your gratitude practice, keep your eyes open for small ways to be there for someone else:

• Help someone put groceries in their car.
• Send an employee home early as a special treat.
• Show your appreciation to someone amazing.
• Put a little love note in your child's lunch.
• Surprise a friend by leaving flowers on their doorstep.

Get silly and move!

Just like a smile, shifting your physical state of stress invites your body and brain to feel good. What we call a state change in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) means to change your body radically – to move into a powerful state. Change your posture, facial expression, and breathing. Move to another room, or stand up and strike a Superman pose!

When I began public speaking, I was petrified. It was about more than just getting up on a stage but about creating a presentation powerful enough for an audience to appreciate and benefit from. My anxiety would put a freeze on my creativity. In fact, it crippled my brain! So, I put my knowledge to work. Here are a few of the exercises; they are simple (even goofy) yet effective.

When you're overwhelmed to the point of being frozen, shift to an empowering state to generate happiness and confidence.

Stand tall, and walk around the room while reciting empowering affirmations. Use a strong, confident voice and your hands and arms to accentuate the words. Here are some of the affirmations I used. Before long, I didn't need to do this exercise because I trained my brain to know I was confident, experienced, and strong.

Short and simple affirmations for happiness and confidence.

• I AM an expert!
• I bring value to my audience (or whatever you're doing)!
• I am a great entrepreneur!
• I have everything it takes to succeed at this!
• My voice is powerful and knowing!
• I am confident, capable, and wise!

Remember, use your body, exaggerate your movements, and emphasize key words in your affirmations.

Baby steps. That's all it takes to bring a bit of joy and happiness to your heart. Don't wait for success, don't think you have to make massive life changes. Keep it simple and do it now.

The post Happiness Matters. 5 Fast and Easy Ways to Increase Your Happiness Factor appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

My clients achieve their goals, but for some, the reality of growing their small business is much different than they imagined. Here's the startling truth. There are several points within the process where you may question your decision to scale. You might even feel an overwhelming need to dial it back or give up. I often help my clients through these stages, and, fortunately, nearly all of them plow through until they feel good about their choices again.

To lessen or avoid the negative emotional impact of scaling your small business, here are a few questions to ask yourself as you create your plan.

1. What do I need to do now to reduce my stress later?

When small business owners are knee-deep in problems, the idea of becoming a true leader who works on the vision instead of the day-to-day operations sounds exciting and fulfilling. Still, you'd be surprised by how often entrepreneurs miss the simplicity of being the business when they initiate a growth model. Some wish they'd never hired employees and taken on more business because it now feels even more overwhelming than when they did it alone. This negative experience of expansion usually comes from poor planning and a skewed vision of the path to success.

It's wise to initiate your progression in phases and have a plan in which your function is clearly and realistically outlined for each process stage. It's also wise to accept that sometimes you'll take two steps forward and one step back. Growth is not a linear process.

To minimize the growth pains, consider these points:

• Avoid making personal or professional travel plans within six months of bringing on new employees. Training takes time. In fact, you're likely to feel more overwhelmed by all the training than you did before hiring help. Don't expect your new people to run the business in your absence until they can perform the job skillfully.
• You'll probably need new business to support payroll but be cautious about how much you add to the workload for at least a few months. Even if your new person or people have the skills to do the job, not all skills translate seamlessly from company to company. They still need plenty of your attention. Don't spread yourself too thin, or you'll resent your choice to build a team.
• Outsource work that doesn't need to be done internally, like bookkeeping, payroll, and freelance labor. Do this before you hire anyone else so you're not bogged down by managing more than one transition at a time.
• If you are offloading tasks to your new hire, begin documenting the steps in writing or doing videos before hiring anyone. Loom.com is an excellent resource for making your training videos. You will still need to provide additional training, but your new person will have documentation to check their work.

2. Am I a great communicator who listens, demonstrates patience, and understands the varying needs of different personality types?

Sometimes entrepreneurs make terrible bosses. There, I said it! If you are a creative, innovative visionary, you'll probably be the worst kind of boss. You don't like boots-on-the-ground activities like hiring, training, and building expansive systems to support your growth. One of the new leaders' most damaging mistakes is neglecting detailed, frequent, and thoughtful communication with their teams.

Never assume that any process is “just common sense” because the knowledge you possess is uncommon. There was a time when you only communicated with clients; now, you'll have more communication points, which creates a greater likelihood of error. Employing others will offer you every opportunity to learn patience and expertly communicate, but you may need a hand.

Hire a business coach who can help you grow your emotional intelligence and communication skills, learn patience, and create realistic expectations of yourself and others.

3. Do I have a skewed perspective on life balance?

A conversation with Jack Canfield offered insight about wealthy entrepreneurs that's useful to share with my clients with less wealth. Despite his success and wealth, the Chicken Soup for the Soul co-author still works fourteen-hour days for days and weeks on end. He said that when he's working on a new book or another big project, he locks himself away in his library and has very little contact with others. But then, when he sends that book to his publisher, he's off to Hawaii with his family for an extended vacation. Life returns to a pleasant balance until the next big project comes along.

Life balance is rarely about day-to-day perfection in your schedule. Look at balance as a whole life experience, not a daily part of your life. There will be periods when your personal life goes by the wayside, and there will be times when you experience the bliss of leaving everything behind to spend time doing the things you love outside of work.

Scaling your small business comes with its ups and its downs. Proper planning and an informed outlook will make the downs fewer and more manageable—but there's one last thing. Don't believe you have to do this alone! There are countless resources and people out there to reduce the burden and help you make the best decisions for you.

***Let's chat! We will investigate whether or not I can help you grow your small business with less stress and more success!***

The post You Want to Grow Your Small Business. 3 Tips So You Don’t Regret It appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

You Don't Need a Business Coach – Bullshift!

Oh, if I could count the times a thriving client has told me how hard it is to talk a fellow business owner into contacting another business coach or me. Even after hearing that my client grew her business from low six figures to a multi-million-dollar business while engaged in coaching. It makes me sad because many more entrepreneurs would succeed if only they had a good coach or mentor at their side. Entrepreneurship is lonely!

After leaving the stage at a speaking event a few years ago, an audience member came up to me and said, “Y-D-K-W-Y-D-K, brilliant!”

Huh?

“Those six words will change my life,” she said.

I still needed to figure out what she was talking about. Finally, she said I had used the term, “You don't know what you don't know,” and that it had never dawned on her. There is so much she doesn't know, and she is critical of herself because of it. But of course, she doesn't even know what she doesn't know, but it's natural, and it's ok–there is an answer! So, she created the acronym as a reminder.

You can only get the answers if you know the questions to ask. How could this entrepreneur learn to become a leader and grow sales if she's never done it before? How could she learn to balance her life as an entrepreneur, mom, wife, friend, and daughter if she's never run a multiple six or seven-figure business before? How could she get out of her own way to realize there's another way to find the answers? She didn't have to know it all; how could she?

You don't know what you don't know–but your coach can teach you.

If you're like this audience member, who by the way became a successful client, and you've never scaled a company to this level before, there are countless things you don't know and wouldn't ever give a second thought to unless someone brought them into your purview. The in-depth, ongoing process of building a full-blown, thriving culture might be a good example. In coaching, you'll learn about things you've never even known to consider, and you'll have the support to step into a whole new world.

Growing entrepreneurs are challenged by things like:

• Clarity and creating a long-term vision, goals, and plans.
• How to manage an overwhelming workload and stress.
• Moving from the self-employed space to the leadership role.
• Understanding the difference between culture and brand identity and how to develop both.
• Hiring for culture fit, not only skill.
• Finding the financial means to hire staff.
• How to handle difficult conversations.
• The nuts and bolts behind converting your team from 1099 status to full-time employees.
• When to hire an accountant, a lawyer, or other outside professional.
• How to balance their life and personal needs with the demands of a growing business.
• How to remove themselves from everyday operations.
• Creating fee structures and policies, both internal and customer-facing.
• How to manage guilt, low self-confidence, fear, and other common emotions.

This list is just the tip of the iceberg; every business owner is different in terms of personality, business experience, vision, and baggage from past experiences. There is magic in a good coach/client relationship. The simple act of externalizing your problems and ideas with someone who's experienced, who gets it, and who is a good listener makes the whole endeavor worthwhile.

Still not convinced? Take a moment to read one of my past articles, Should I Hire a Business Coach? 3 Signs That You're Ready. And remember this: A coach with integrity will not accept a client they don't believe they can help, including recouping the cost of coaching (in most cases). A conversation usually costs nothing, so it can't hurt. I'd love to hear from you, but mostly I would love for you to explore the idea—with me and/or other coaches. You deserve it!

The post You Don’t Need a Business Coach – Bullshift! appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

You launched your company, how long ago now? And you've spent much of that time doing whatever it takes to grow the customer list, sell, and deliver. But lately, you've realized you're not getting beyond the point of making just enough money to survive if you're lucky. The good news is that if you're making just enough, there's probably a market for what you do. The bad news is that if you continue to mop the floors, you won't grow much—as a leader or a company.

This realization is one reason that drives many business owners to seek me out as a life and business coach. Odds are, you're a natural-born leader, but that doesn't mean there's not a lot to learn. It's one thing to operate your company and quite another to take it to the next level with solid leadership skills. Let's look at some of the common stumbling blocks I encounter with the founders who are ready for a change but aren't making it happen.

Business owners who are stuck believe they can't afford to hire.

I always say, “If you believe it, it's true!” I have yet to coach someone who couldn't afford a new hire. That's because, together in coaching, we quickly identify creative ways to secure the ongoing funds for a new hire.

You create a game plan when you work with a business coach. You'll have a growth strategy, and when you bite the bullet and hire someone to do the work that takes up much of your time, you'll be free to bring in new business. However, if you transfer your time from one mundane task to another, you'll fail. You must have a plan to increase the company's profits before outsourcing or making a hiring decision. Sometimes the answer lies as close to your existing client list, a company or individual willing to increase their spending. Don't hesitate to go after this low-hanging fruit; all they can do is say yes or no.

Get an employee training process in place.

Before you delegate anything, have a training process in place. If the work that keeps you from growing your business is computer-related, record your screen as you go through each step of every process. Find a way to easily document the work you do and use this documentation in your training. Your new employee can do the work to make it pretty, so don't worry about how it looks.

Be courageous about delegation.

Your new people are more likely to do things differently than you and less likely to do it all wrong, which is what most entrepreneurs fear. Different isn't bad if it gets the same or better results. If they make mistakes, correct them. Yes, it is that easy. Time-consuming? Sometimes, but in the long run, not so much. This mental adjustment is one of the most challenging for entrepreneurs. I hear it all the time, “By the time I teach someone else to do this, I could have done it myself.” Oh sure, that's true, but how often do you want to repeat tasks that don't grow your business? Bite the bullet, do some excellent training, and let these jobs go.

Leadership means building a team you can trust.

Whether you hire one or multiple people to help you grow, they must be the right people. It's one thing to outsource small tasks or hire a bookkeeping service, but you must select your team members carefully.

The biggest problem with new business coaching clients who already have people on board is that the founder hasn't developed a desirable culture before onboarding. We'll get into some of the nuts and bolts of this in the culture development article two weeks down the road, but for now, suffice it to say that you need to hire people whose values coincide with your own.

If, for instance, you want an organization where people feel fulfillment in their work, but you hire someone who wants to punch the clock for the paycheck, neither of you will be happy. Work with your business coach to identify the core values to introduce into your company culture and create an interviewing process that explores the values of your applicants. When your people possess values that identify closely with your own, you will build mutual trust and respect.

Great leaders mentor their employees.

Some entrepreneurs have strong opinions in opposition to mentoring employees, to the point where they call it babysitting, which they claim they don't have time for. I assure you that mentoring your employees will substantially increase retention and job satisfaction. Solid mentorship opportunities will attract high-potential job candidates eager to learn and advance. As you lead and mentor your employees, you will notice that sales growth and other goals are achieved faster. And lastly, things will be done right, which brings us full circle to why you probably don't want to delegate in the first place—a fear of things not being done correctly. Teaching and guiding your employees is the only way to guarantee your desired results.

Set mutually agreed-upon goals for your employee(s), and don't let those targets linger in the ether. Do brief weekly and longer monthly meetings with your team members to review and guide them. This time will come back to you tenfold.

Hire slow, fire fast.

Hire slow. Have a process that will help you locate, interview, and onboard individuals who will contribute talent, skill, and positivity to your culture. If hiring for a critical position, take your top candidates to dinner or another activity. Invite their significant other, even their kids. Talk about hobbies and interests outside of work. Make sure your values are aligned.

Fire fast. Again, do what it takes to train, support properly, and mentor your employees. When they make mistakes, review them honestly and restate your expectations. If costly mistakes continue, it's time to let go.

One bad apple can spoil the whole team. It's not easy to let go of an underperformer or someone with a negative attitude, but these characteristics are toxic and contagious. Whether it's due to attitude or poor performance, don't be afraid to fire someone. I've seen entrepreneurs hold on to a poor fit out of fear, which never bodes well for the company.

Are you afraid that you'll get stuck doing the work? That you won't be able to find a replacement? Perhaps it's simply conflict avoidance on your part. If that's the case, know this: If you have an employee who is a poor culture fit and an underperformer, it inevitably means they too are unhappy. Everyone will find happiness on the other side of their walking papers.

Practice what you preach.

As you grow your culture (more on this later in this series), you will identify values that the company and your team live by. Let's say you have a value such as flexibility, which might mean your team can work with some flexibility and your company is flexible in resolving your clients' issues. Now let's say that you are inflexible and narrow-minded; your team and clients will become frustrated and eventually leave.

A little bit of tough love here. If you experience resistance, poor attitude, and unsatisfactory performance in a team member you've carefully selected, look in the mirror first. Most often, the leader fails, not the employee who was once the perfect fit for the job. Have you been embodying your own company culture? Have you been living up to your standards, keeping your promises, and demonstrating positive values to your team and customers?

Be a decision-maker and take inspired action.

Creative and driven employees and expectant customers want to see your products and services evolve. Too many entrepreneurs have let great plans and ideas stagnate and die. I suggest a quarterly off-site, whether it's with employees, your coach, or just you, to review growth goals and any changes that will lead to better efficiencies and an improved work environment.

There are times when circumstances prevent business owners from achieving specific goals, but most often, procrastination and fear-related issues stop us in our tracks. If you are indecisive or don't have your priorities in order, your behavior will be reflected in your team's performance.

Leaders have an appreciation for learning. Build time into your schedule to read, listen to podcasts, work with a coach, and travel to conferences. Primarily, be open to feedback and embrace change. I've never worked with an entrepreneur who does these things and still fails.

The post How Solid Are Your Leadership Skills? Review Your Leadership Mindset appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Is there such a thing as a natural-born leader? Can leadership be taught? The answer is yes to both of those questions, but even a natural-born leader has much to learn. Your business coach is an excellent place to turn.

As a life and business coach, I work primarily (but not exclusively) with entrepreneurs positioned to grow their companies from six to seven-figure businesses, but it’s just not happening. I find my work to be gratifying and sometimes quite exciting! When a small business owner suffers and struggles, they aren’t living the life they deserve and crave. When the entrepreneur enters a successful business coaching relationship, that life reveals itself; it’s fascinating to witness how things change as their world evolves.

What many candidates for business coaching aren't prepared for is the personal and leadership growth that comes with business growth. Many of the beliefs and practices that worked well when it was just you and perhaps a couple of part-time employees won’t contribute to the future growth of your company.

There are new challenges at every bend in the leadership journey, which most often lead to enriching growth experiences. Below are some initial growing pains I commonly see in entrepreneurs seeking to build their companies into the beautiful vision that was once a dream.

Over the next few weeks, I will explore each of these issues at a deeper level. I’ll offer you my best business coach advice to equip and inspire you to grow your business to the next level. For now, here’s an overview.

1. The founder struggles to grow from employee to leader.

It’s all on you. You’ve rolled up your sleeves and done everything from answering the phones to delivering your product and services. But how can you expand your marketing, attend conferences, develop new products or services, and implement growth strategies if you’re busy doing things that are, frankly, not the job of a CEO?

It’s time to build a team and one that you can learn to trust. As you may know, trust can be a big issue for entrepreneurs, and understandably so. You’ve nurtured your “baby” all on your own, and now you’re dissecting it to share the responsibilities with others who may do things differently. They may even screw it up totally! This stage is where you’ll benefit from knowing that, at the employee level, there are very few mistakes from which your company won’t recover. Delegate and train accordingly. Only then will you have the freedom to step into the shoes of a true leader.

In the upcoming series, I’ll touch on the growing pains involved in becoming a leader to new employees and employees who “knew you when.”

2. New leaders need help to determine when and where to invest.

Money is still tight at this stage, so a misstep can be devastating. Do you hire employees, get a larger space, invest in software and equipment, or spend real money on marketing? There is a delicate balance among the choices since you must have the revenue stream to support ongoing expenditures (like payroll or rent), and there is no guarantee of that happening. This decision process involves careful planning, projections, and a leap of faith.

Entrepreneurs at this stage often believe they don’t have the money to scale. If you believe that, well then, it’s true! It’s not difficult to “find” the money to hire a contractor or two, or even an employee when the time is right. Without this support, you’ll most likely remain precisely where you are. A support team is typically the first place you’ll spend your dollars. We’ll look at that closely when I expand on this thought.

3. New leaders usually botch their company culture.

I always say,

“If you don’t build an intentional culture, it will build itself–and you will not like the results!”

One sign that you have allowed your culture to fall through the cracks is when you find yourself surrounded by customers and employees who aren’t on the same page as you are. This unhealthy environment creates stress and wreaks havoc on your business and well-being. If your stress is through the roof, it’s doubtful that an intentional culture is intact.

Honestly, most clients who begin working with me don’t even understand what culture is all about. This is one of the most exciting pieces to helping entrepreneurs achieve their long-term goals. We get to uncover your most treasured values and create the foundation upon which each building block of your business will sit. My clients learn things about themselves they’ve never realized, and the company grows to reflect its founder in the most meaningful ways.

I’ve got some great culture-building strategies and insights for you – coming soon!

4. Employees don’t always adjust well to change – tough decisions lie ahead!

This one ties into the whole culture topic for companies that already have employees onboard when they begin working with their business coach. One of the growing pains we often encounter in the coaching process is the realization that long-time employees are resistant to change and may no longer be a good fit for the organization. Ouch! You know their families—they may even be people you consider friends. In some cases, they are family!

Employees who “knew you when” often don’t adapt well when you become less hands-on. They may be more accustomed to having a say or being a part of your decision-making process. It’s not that your employees become less critical; it’s that your inner entrepreneur will surface as you grow your business (especially with a good coach at your side), and you’ll make decisions that your team doesn’t agree with or understand. Roles and responsibilities change, and we all know how difficult change is for some people. Sometimes, these facts drive a wedge that is difficult to maneuver around between the founder and the employee.

And yes, sometimes all of this means the employee leaves or is let go from the company, but here’s the good news: everyone is happier in the end. I see these past employees thrive as they enter a new stage of their professional growth. And the entrepreneurs, no longer hindered by the challenges of having a nay-sayer on board, also thrive.

5. You don’t know what you don’t know–but your business coach can teach you.

This is a big one. You’ve never done this before; how can you possibly know what to do as a leader? I believe true leaders have an innate ability to lead, but still, there’s so much to learn! And budding leaders often need “permission” to make the choices because sometimes these choices contradict everything you’ve been doing up to this point. You’ve been working non-stop, and now you’re thinking about taking a week off to go to a leadership conference in another state? Unheard of! But yes, leaders need education, inspiration, encouragement, and camaraderie.

You’ve never scaled a company to this level before, so there are countless things that you don’t know and wouldn’t ever give a second thought to unless someone brought them into your purview. The in-depth, ongoing process of building a full-blown, thriving culture might be a good example. In coaching, you’ll learn about things you’ve never even known to consider, and you’ll have the support to step into a whole new world. We’ll talk about some of those things toward the end of this series.

I hope you’ll stay with me over the next few weeks as we explore these topics at a deeper level. Questions? Is there something you’d like me to address in this series? Please feel free to contact me here or send them to me at marla@marlatabaka.com.

I look forward to supporting you during this very exciting time of growth!

The post Top 5 Leadership Growing Pains Seen by This Business Coach appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

As a business coach, I have an opportunity to help affected business owners with their depression and to consider that their mysteriously dark thoughts and behaviors come from the depression they usually don't even know they have. The reason you may not think of it as depression is that if you see yourself as high functioning and expect yourself to ‘buck up,' as entrepreneurs do, you may be aware that you don't feel great, but you'll chalk it up to stress and other factors that don't include depression. With depression in entrepreneurs at a rate of 30 percent, this is truly a silent epidemic.

Why is depression in entrepreneurs so prevalent?

I can identify many reasons for the epidemic proportions of depression in entrepreneurs, and I'm confident that researchers have identified many more. The thoughts and information in this article come from nearly twenty years of successfully coaching small business owners; I am not a therapist. Here are the depression-triggering facts I witness most often.

Some entrepreneurs are predisposed to mental illness.

Many studies argue that some entrepreneurs are predisposed to mental illness, including depressive tendencies. The same qualities that make you an outstanding entrepreneur: creativity, ability to pivot, empathy, independence, visionary, and crisis-management skills may be rooted in negative life experiences. If you have experienced any level of trauma in your past, it likely resulted in many negative beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Experiences of failure, shame, perfectionism, and emotional or physical abuse, lead to anxiety and self-doubt, which can lead to varying levels of depression.

However, even if you were blessed with an idyllic childhood and a life relatively free of trauma, it does not disqualify you from depressive tendencies. The risks and uncertainty that come with the emotional rollercoaster that is a founder's life can be enough to push us to the brink of a breakdown. There is tremendous pressure to succeed from both internal and external sources. Mostly, entrepreneurs are hardest on themselves.

What are the primary stressors that lead to depression in entrepreneurs?

Aside from the above, the climate of the business world is quite harsh. There's competition, lack of funding, employees and candidates who ghost business owners, managing others, client issues, and rapidly advancing technologies that take money and education to keep up. As a founder, you have a world of weight on your shoulders and little opportunity to go off-grid to escape the crazy.

As though the external challenges aren't enough, they are compounded by negative self-talk and beliefs that can make you feel incapable or undeserving. Skim through my other blogs and Inc.com articles for more on this mindset and what to do about it.

Why it's difficult to spot depression in yourself.

If you've lived with depression for any length of time, it's hard to identify if your moods, thoughts, and behaviors are “just who you are” or symptoms of depression. Also, you're busy; who has time to slow down to evaluate this problem? Lastly, what if you discover you are depressed? That's scary, right?

The good news is that therapy, a good life and business coach, a healthier lifestyle, alternative treatments, and possibly (but not always) medication can resolve most issues. Why live a life of anxiety, high stress, and sad thoughts if you don't have to? It used to be taboo to discuss mental health; luckily, those days are gone.

How to spot depression in yourself.

Pay attention to your thoughts and moods. Prolonged sadness, anger, and frustration may be signs that you are depressed.

You're tired. Of course, you are, but depression comes with a whole new level of fatigue. Pay attention to your energy patterns.

Poor concentration. You may believe that what I call entrepreneurial ADHD comes with the territory. That's not always true. Your habits, beliefs, and lack of clarity contribute to poor concentration.

You may have a lack of appetite and trouble sleeping. Watch for any change in mood, habits, or attitudes that don't feel good to you.

Do you drink more alcohol than you'd like to admit?

A drink or two takes the edge off, but note if your drinking (or other self-medicating) habits have increased. This could be a sign that your coping mechanisms are over-taxed.

Indecisiveness and overwhelming feelings that muddy up your clarity.

Sometimes these feelings get so big that we shut down and use productive procrastination to avoid thinking about strategy and gaining clarity. Sometimes, even the most basic decisions feel overwhelming.

You don't feel like spending time with others.

You are excluding yourself from everyday social situations and avoiding others. This could be happening because your stress and depressive tendencies are taking up all of your energy. It's challenging to make small talk when you're facing tough problems.

Resolving depression in entrepreneurs.

The first step for anyone is to recognize that you aren't happy and are not alone, even though you may feel lonely. Many of your peers have gone or are going through bouts of depression. Society expects entrepreneurs to be tough and resilient, but we are all human with feelings, needs, and limits.

Try to put things in perspective.

Every problem becomes amplified when the brain is operating in a depressed state. Our stress bucket becomes full, and any minor issue can create an overflow. We also have negative recordings that yell at us from inside our heads; I'm not good or smart enough, I don't deserve success, I'm going to fail, so many people are counting on me, I can't let them down. I have many articles on my site about “BullShifting™” negative thinking. Check this one out.

Think about all the problems you've resolved in the past.

When we're involved in an anxiety-inducing issue, it feels like the world's weight is crashing upon us. You've felt this way before; what happened then? Most often, our worst fears don't manifest themselves. Even if they do, there are few circumstances from which we don't recover. You've probably faced heavier challenges and made it to the other side.

If simple positive mindset shifts are not helping your depression, please find a professional to work with for a while. If your depression is deep and long-lasting, interview some therapists to find one who resonates with your belief system. A coach with training and experience working with entrepreneurs is a great choice to complement therapy or as a stand-alone approach if you believe treatment is unnecessary. A good, ethical coach will gently nudge you toward therapeutic assistance if your situation is beyond their scope of practice.

Remember your mission and vision; you have a purpose to achieve. Ask for help so you can be happy in life and business and get to your goals efficiently. It's just better that way.

The post The Silent Epidemic: Depression in Entrepreneurs appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

As an entrepreneur, you must make tough choices, sometimes under unexpected circumstances. While we all experience and process each situation on our own timeline and in our own way, there are a few things you can do for an added measure of self-care.

Before making a tough decision, create your support system.

When we are in distress, we often forget to help ourselves in nurturing ways—or inform others how to help us.

When I made the gut-wrenching decision to leave a career I loved, I knew I would need to lean on others. It was time to walk away from the television broadcasting industry that I’d been part of all my adult life, but what would I do with my life after television?

Before formalizing this tough decision, I made an appointment at the local career center to learn about my options. I took the Meyer’s Briggs and other assessments at the community college; I reached out to my network to ask for connections, and I let my friends and family know that I would need some fun distractions from my quest to find a new beginning. These measures offered me a softer landing when I made an emotional exit from the only career I’d ever known.

Consider what might be needed and what would feel good to you during a stressful period in your life and ask for support. Making decisions and plans like these ahead of time will offer you a softer landing.

Plan for the inevitable.

I find a significant amount of our stress comes from doubting our choices and taking the big step of making the final decision. A situation I often experience with the entrepreneurs I coach is the unwillingness to let go of an unproductive or difficult employee. As the business grows, longtime employees may not be capable of growing with it. As employers, we understand the struggle an employee may encounter when facing unemployment. Feelings get involved and doubt sets in. Yet, once the entrepreneur decides to release an employee who isn’t performing or is not a good culture fit, good things happen—usually for the employer and the employee.

Give some thought to the decisions you may have to make in the future. Apply this formula:

If x and y happen, I will move to z, my final decision. In this scenario, if this employee fails to meet the requirements discussed in our meeting and doesn’t change their toxic attitude, I will let them go. This kind of planning lessens the possibility of emotional reasoning getting in the way of your ability to make a sound, albeit tough, decision. This process is especially helpful in big life decisions like managing the well-being of someone who can no longer make decisions on their own.

Find the collateral beauty.

I loved being the owner of a thriving independent coffeehouse. All of it, but the stress of running a brick-and-mortar business, the financial concerns, and 15 young, not-so-reliable employees—all while being the single parent of two teenagers.

As I always say, being an entrepreneur can be lonely, so I hired a business coach to help me with direction and clarity. That experience turned into so much more than I’d anticipated. It ultimately led to my current career, which turned out to be my life purpose and passion. Still, I had to make the difficult decision to sell my amazing coffeehouse so I could go to school and build my coaching practice.

The movie, Collateral Beauty, offers an unusual viewpoint of loss. There are aspects of even our most difficult experiences that are beautiful if we open our minds to a broader perspective. Selling the coffeehouse, while painful as I let go of my community of friends and a place I’d come to know as a sanctuary. It felt nearly unbearable; still, letting go provided me the growth opportunity of a lifetime. My coach offered to mentor me and supply me with pro bono clients. I’d added another layer of wisdom that comes with failures and successes, and this knowledge would support me in helping other entrepreneurs. I met people who would remain in my life for many years beyond the coffeehouse. I have memories of all the musicians and artists I helped by providing them a place to showcase their talents. Although I was grieving for the home-away-from-home I’d lost, my life was rich with joyful memories and more.

Use the oxygen mask theory.

We’ve all sat through the redundant safety messages on commercial flights. “Ladies and gentlemen, “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.” Why? Because you can’t help anyone if you’re unconscious.

Sometimes life gets tough just before we must make a dreaded decision. The stress and concern build up, making you emotional as your next steps become clear as mud. When your body’s energy and oxygen become consumed by its survival mechanism, your brain does not function well. The energy consumption leads to a sense of overwhelm, confusion, and many emotions.

Somehow, we become martyrs during a crisis, refusing comfort and help from others and neglecting our own needs. These sacrifices do not aid anyone involved in the situation and certainly don’t benefit you. Slow down, create space, eat as well as you can, and do what is needed to ensure proper rest.

One thing I know for sure. When we create the smoothest path possible, we have greater clarity and energy to get to the other side of our decisions. Once there, we can pick up our lives and begin to release whatever problems and pain the situation has brought into our lives.

The post How to Make Tough Decisions Bearable–and With Clarity appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Why do your team meetings fall flat?

• Is your content stimulating? Meetings with boring content are longer than necessary and won't get engagement.
• Participant engagement is essential; boring topics and a single person doing all the talking does not invite others to engage.
• Most people admit to multitasking in meetings, but it sends a message of disinterest, which spreads like a loud yawn. Ask everyone to put their devices on the do not disturb mode and keep them face down, Use them only for content related to your topics.
• Going off-topic is taboo. Don’t let anyone hijack the meeting and bore other attendees. Or worse, leave people feeling left out.
• You'll lose your audience if someone monopolizes the conversation and drives their point home repeatedly.

How to nail your next team meeting.

• Ask yourself if a team meeting is necessary and invite only those who need to be there.
• Send an agenda ahead of time, along with questions for discussion.
• Appoint someone to begin the meeting and start right on time. If you chronically run late, assign a team member to get things going.
• Start your meeting with an icebreaker. This may seem counterproductive in keeping your discussion on point and on time, but it increases engagement. I have a client who brings a lightweight ball to her meetings and asks each team member to announce a win. This could be something they've accomplished, are grateful for, or looking forward to. Then the person randomly tosses the ball to someone else in the group, and it becomes their turn to talk. Keep it short: 30 to 60 seconds for each person.
• Avoid small talk. There's no need to talk about the weather, your child's little league team, or what you had for breakfast. Let it be known that employees can arrive a few minutes early or stick around a bit longer to connect on an informal note if they wish.
• If you have remote attendees, or your meeting is entirely virtual, use video technology. Surveys show that the use of video decreases multitasking and increases engagement.
• Assign others to lead some of the discussion. We tend to tune out after one person speaks for a long time. A new voice reboots our interest.
• Use visuals, like a whiteboard, where appropriate. Most of the population has a visual learning style, so using a visual helps attendees absorb information better. (Avoid long, unnecessary slide presentations.)
• Talk about culture development and other topics that help your team understand your vision. Invite open discussion on these topics.
• Some personality types will rarely speak up in meetings. Rather than put them on the spot, send challenges and questions in advance. This process allows them to think about their suggestions and be prepared to talk about them. Or they can post or send their comments in writing ahead of time.
• End your meeting on an inspirational, motivational, or humorous note. Send your people out the door feeling energized and with a smile on their faces.
• To add more fun and unpredictability, surprise your team with a new location or a fun activity at your meetings. Walk to a nearby park, take them out for a meal, or hire an event planner to add an unexpected twist to the occasional meeting. Your time and effort will pay off through increased productivity and engagement. Happy employees keep any company humming along.

The post Imagine if Everyone Looked Forward to Team Meetings. Here’s How to Make it Happen appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Why is intuition important?

Intuition is a type of intelligence, not a woo-woo state of being. In fact, researchers are paying much more attention to intuition\ and many say it’s the most important kind of intelligence. People from all walks of life, including famous leaders, scientists, and inventors are known to make their decisions based on intuitive hits or while daydreaming. They take risks that don’t necessarily make sense on paper, but their intuition drives them to do it anyway.

Does everyone have strong intuition?

People who are logical thinkers may not be as adept at using their intuitive processing. The brain thinks by using two different and distinct processes. In one, the brain works through information slowly and deliberately; this is analytical thinking. In the other, the brain draws on patterns from our past experiences and the current environment to make quick decisions. This is where the intuitive process lives and operates. Your intuition may be difficult to detect because you are relying on just one of your brain’s operating systems. The two hemispheres of our brain (left/right) work together in harmony, but signals from one can be much stronger than the other at times.

Intuition is often drowned out by a lack of confidence and your bully, B.S. voice.

Another reason you may not easily tune into intuition is that your intuitive voice is usually small and gentle, whereas the bullying voice in your head is intrusive and noisy. Intuitive thoughts are quiet and usually fleeting; intruding thoughts are loud and often nagging.

The nature of negative thinking makes it more difficult to hear and believe in your intuitive thoughts.

When your confidence is lacking, this overbearing voice can drown out your intuitive voice. We need to tell those thoughts to sit in a corner so we can listen for something gentler. Intuitive thoughts induce a calming feeling of knowing or understanding. They feel good or right while intrusive thoughts feel overwhelming and anxiety-provoking, or depressing. This is one of the best ways of telling them apart.

Do your B.S. thoughts get in the way of your success and happiness? My Group Coaching Series might be right for you! I call it BullShift!

Learn more about Bullshift Group Coaching now!

Can everyone tap into their intuition?

I believe this is a question that’s gone unanswered. However, I believe that intuition is like a muscle and simply needs to be exercised. For most of my life, I’ve been studying my inner voice and I see every life challenge as a playground for improving my mindset. Intuition plays an important role in that. This is certainly something that anyone can do, it just takes time and tons of curiosity. That’s why I make it a playful process.

Play games to increase your intuitive awareness.

• I love being playful with my intuition. I’ll use a deck of cards to try to “predict” which card I’ll pull next. I remain general, looking for a color (hearts or diamonds versus spades and clubs) or I’ll think about the face cards (the king, queen, and jack) as a separate set from the numbered cards. You’ll be amazed at how often you are correct after you learn which voice to listen to. Sometimes when I’m really feeling in tune, I’ll get more specific and “ask” for a certain card.  I mostly do this when I play Solitaire. I’m telling you, it works!
• When I get a “hit” like to call or text so-and-so, I always listen. Most of the time they will say, “I was just thinking of you!” There have been many times when they’ve told me something significant has just occurred and that it's amazing that I called in that moment.
• When I need to make an important decision, I close my eyes and think about my choices one at a time. While I’m focused on each choice I tune into my body, not my brain. Usually, our bodies know (and will communicate) what’s right for us. I refer to my intuition as “a seed of knowing”. That’s how it feels; a seed floats gently into my heart and/or gut and I know—without a single doubt—that things will turn out exactly as they are meant to be and for my highest good. (It’s not up to us to judge what the highest good is. We don’t have access to that information.)

These are only a few of the fun ways to play with your intuition. Get creative and practice often. Your confidence will soar, success will increase, and you will feel much happier.

The post Intuition Is Intelligence, Not WooWoo. Here’s How to Tap Into Yours appeared first on Marla Tabaka.

Why is confidence important?

Some people feel like imposters and walk around in fear of being found out, that they don’t belong. They believe they just got lucky to have as much success as they’ve had. When in this state, it’s impossible to imagine success and to take the next steps with ease. Whereas self-confidence makes it easy for us to visualize success and difficult for us to imagine failure. If you can’t envision your desired outcome, it’s awfully difficult to make it happen.

A strong sense of confidence will positively influence your work, access to happiness, and even your health. A confident disposition is important because of the way it makes us feel and it allows us to live a more joyful, productive life.

Confidence is contagious!

What’s fascinating is that confidence is contagious, and there’s a reason for that—mirror neurons. Have you ever noticed that when you're sitting across from someone, you end up mimicking one another's body position? Mimicking a companion's position, like crossed arms, elbows on the table, and legs crossed are examples of mirror neurons at work  Confidence can be mirrored back to us as well. When, for instance, you are confident in a presentation, the audience will subconsciously pick up on that energy and mimic it back to you. If you stumble on your words and your lack of confidence shows, the best you’ll get from your audience is sympathy.

How to tap into your confidence.

You can access your confidence by creating something to anchor it to.  Let’s have some fun and create these anchors. We’ll begin with a bit of journaling.

Write down what the opposite of confidence is for you. Some questions you could ask yourself:

• How do I know when I am NOT confident?
• Where in my body do I feel it?
• How does confidence impact my work?
• When I’m not confident how does it influence my overall mood, energy, health?

Now, break out your crayons and draw an image that represents the opposite of confidence.

Ok, a bit of creative expression here. What does a state of low confidence look like to you? What color, texture, shape, and size is it? There are no rules here, just go with your intuition.

Strike a pose or put yourself into a position that demonstrates your brain and body when you do NOT feel confident.

Don't be shy. Imagine a time when your confidence was in the gutter. What body position best represents that? Now, how do you feel? Pretty crappy, right? Let’s fix that. (I call this Bullshift because we are shifting the B.S. in our heads!)

Now let’s do the opposite.

Do the same exercises, but tap into your confident self. Write about what confidence is to you by asking yourself the same questions, but with confidence in mind. Then, draw confidence, strike a confident pose. Become Wonder Woman or Superman!

Anchoring to your confidence.

Now you have some things to anchor your confidence to: your written definition, the drawing, and your super confident pose. Create some affirmations from your definition. Look at, and touch your drawing. Strike your pose and put everything into it!

How do you feel now? Better? Yup!

Next week I’m going to post about how to use your amazing intuitive abilities to tap into confidence. Please don’t say that you’re not intuitive, because we all are. Most people don’t know how to recognize it and therefore, don’t listen to their intuitive voice. Tune in next week to learn how! UPDATE: Here's the link to the newest intuition post!

Meanwhile, try on your confidence today. Go be amazing!

The post Business Coach Tip of the Week. Try These Fun Tricks to Tap Into Your Confidence appeared first on Marla Tabaka.